Pickup line: Hey babe, do you know what time it is? Because I don't wanna be late for class and if you told the time, it will surely help me because I'll be able to arrive early at my class not to mention it would greatly improve my punctuality efforts to help me pass the class this semester. Geez, I remember back in middle school there was a guy name Billy Jones and he used to always be late for class. His name was Billy but we called him Bill. Bill was his nickname but his real name was Billy. Anyways, he was always late for class because he would always make the best barbecue ribs in town.... (45 minutes later...) ....and I told Bill, "Man, if you were to just ask what time it was it would greatly help you in arriving to class early." And he was was like "I know but..."And then I cut him off and I said "But nothing. I don't care what kind of barbecue ribs you make, you just can't do that." So there I was, me and him, sitting down and .... (3 hours later...) ...it was awesome. Boy, I remember back in the early 90's when I was at elementary school, it was a stormy weather and we had to go to class. That's when I met Clarissa. She was a really nice girl and I remember there was a time when... (to be continued....)

thumb_up thumb_down

2 biggest lies I have read and agree to the Terms of Service - View Terms of Service and That baby dont look like me

thumb_up thumb_down

Looking's for free... Touching's for free.

thumb_up thumb_down

what's black and hangs from a tree in my garden? a blackberry

thumb_up thumb_down

A muslim paints Mohammed

thumb_up thumb_down

Q:what do u call a dead baby tied to my feet? A:new shoes

thumb_up thumb_down

Why doesn't Jonathan Walk across the road? Because he is in a wheelchair...

thumb_up thumb_down

SHUT UP JP

thumb_up thumb_down

why do midgets surf in kitchens? because of microwaves.

thumb_up thumb_down

Did u hear about the jew that bought something not on sale? Neither did i.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the boy drop his ice cream...?? Because he got hit by a white van

thumb_up thumb_down

Roses are red violets are blue your dads got hair what happened to you

thumb_up thumb_down

John: Hey Debbie, do you wanna go see a movie with me? Dina: My name is Dina

thumb_up thumb_down

Three guys walk into a bar. Soon after another man tries to walk in, but is stopped by the bouncers because the bar was at capacity.

thumb_up thumb_down

A: Rock! B:Paper! C: Siccorz! D: Shoot! D: Jimmy, you alright buddy? I didn't mean for that bullet to hit you man..

thumb_up thumb_down

A mother and her child run into the store... The mother opens the door, so the child does not run into the store again.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the Mexican cross the road? He was on his way to America Why did the black man cross the road? He was just running to his car you racist.....after he had robbed the bank

thumb_up thumb_down

Knock knock who's there atch watch who? bless you

thumb_up thumb_down

A black person and a white person decide to have a race. Who won? The white person Don't be a racist.

thumb_up thumb_down

Do Re Mi Fa So La Ti Only musicians will understand.

thumb_up thumb_down

Your mom is so fat, that i don't think she's attractive anymore.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because the amount of times people reused this joke on this site made her so annoyed much she wanted to hurt herself.

thumb_up thumb_down

Roses are Red, I have a phone, Nobody texts me, Forever alone.

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops