- Anti Joke

Roses are nice, Violets are glorious, Try not to scare, Oscar Pistorius.

Why did the Chicken cross the road? The light was red, which prompted the chicken to cross safely.

What do you call someone who is bad at hand eye co-ordination? Dispraxic

One day a black guy bought some fried chicken. The clerk said: Lol you guys always eat chicken! Lol said the black guy, yeah I am here a lot. Clerk: No I meant your kind of you know... I KNOW WHAT? Clerk: You guys at the studio next door! Oh, yeah, lol I almost thought you meant my skin color! Clerk: You fucking Negroes always thinking we are racist...

What's long, hard, and in my pants? The SAT's... I lied about it being in my pants.

What did the blond say to the other blond? "I like your shoes."

How do you kill a mime? Shoot him in the face.

What's worse than an arrow to the knee? -A bullet in the head.

How do you get an elephant in the fridge in three moves open the door, put it in, close the door How do you put an giraffe in the fridge in four moves open the door, take out the elephant, put the giraffe in, and close the door

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because Henry threw it well.

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What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.

whats worse than a baby in a dumpster? A baby in ten dumpsters.

womans having rights.

what starts with b and ends with b? The bomb i just planted in your house.

A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

Why did the old man lose his cane? He didnt. He had alzheimers

What happened to the boy with cancer? He died

What did Jesus Christ say to John the Baptist? Nothing. He didn't exist.

A black man is running down the street with a purse in his hand. He was trying to catch up to the old woman who forgot it at the restaurant. She was very grateful.

A brunette, a redhead and a blonde are on the run from the police. They see a barn, and decide to hide inside it. They find three burlap sacks, and each hide in one. The police enter the barn, arrest each of the girls, and sentence them to life imprisonment for murder.

SEX IS LIKE MATH ADD THE BED SUBTRACT THECLOTHES DIVIDE THE LEGS AND PRAY U DONT MULTIPLY!!!!

Q:Why are dinosaurs extinct? A:Well there are two reasons the first being a giant meteor struck the earth killing all the dinosaurs. The other reason you touch yourself at night.

Why do elephant tusks stick out? For uprooting trees and bushes, and for defending their young.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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