Q: why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: because it was dead.

Face...tastes like chicken!

Man sees a hot girl. The hot girl sees him. The man asks her out on a date. After five years of dating he asks for her hand in marriage. She says "No way, I'm married you horror!!!" The man cries and moves in with his mom... Two days later he commits suicide.

Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

Can i have a Ice Cream Kuhn?

Why did the squirrel across the river upside down? So it could keep its nuts dry.

I literally died laughing

A Mormon walks into a bar

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

What did the pirate say when his parrot died? Nothing. He was upset and didn't really feel like talking.

2 men were in a bar, One was talking to the other, "I was walking down the street someone fell." "ha" "isis it true?" "What" "isis" and a bomb went off and they all died

Roses are blue Violets are red I shot your valentine Straight in the head

What did Larry do when little Billys baseball crashed through his window? He raped and murdered little Billy for Larry has raped and murdered many children.

The Americans have just spent millions of dollars working on a pen that works in space. I would of just used a pencil.

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

what did batman say to robin to get him into the car? Get in the car

Women are only good for two things... Being raped and being raped in the ass.

Why did the homeless man decide it was time to get off the streets? He wanted to save face.

What's brown and sticky? A stick.

when life gives you lemons your like wait how did i get these lemons??

Intercom:ALERT! THERES AND EXTREIMEST IS THE SCHOOL! Little kid: Sir, can I borrow that towel on your head? BOOOOOOM!

What's twelve inches long and makes women scream? Crib death.

What's faster, a train or a bike? A horse because a cow gives milk

This is a joke.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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