Q: why can't women drive? A: because there is no road between the kitchen and the bedroom

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why was the man so good at holding stuff? he was born with 4 arms!

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How many babies can you fit in a bottle? None, a bottle is too small

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I brought a parachute as carry on luggage, I was pulled aside at security and missed my flight.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? On average 2,950, however, this has not been properly tested due to obvious reasons.

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what Did The Cow Say To The Chicken, Moo

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Subject A: Knock Knock! Subject B: *silence* Subsequently, Subject A dejectedly walks home and hangs himself.

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what did the teacher say to the students when she was talking about the solar system The sun is very hot. At the core it is 15 million degrees Celsius or 27 million degrees Farenheit. Using a magnifying glass, we can see the very hot heat and the light of the sun. Please do not do that because it can hurt your eyes. This makes the light very bright and the heat is so hot it could start a fire.

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2 squirrels with 2 massive boners and 1 little boner.

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knock knock. who's there? no one. no one who? no one who?

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Why did they bury the firefighter behind the hill? Because he was dead.

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"what's fat,stupid,and has a shell" "i don't know what" "you, i lied about the shell"

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What's up with airplane food? Not sure, but last flight I was on they didn't serve any food. It could have been because it was too short of a flight or perhaps the recessed economy caused jetliners to cut costs. Either way, I didn't get a bag of peanuts.

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Why did the Jew cross the road? After looking both ways many times, repeatedly, to make sure there was absolutely no element of possible danger, he concluded that his best option was the cross the road.

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whats worse than drinking bad milk? tea bagging a bear trap

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How do you make Justin Bieber cry? You take away his marijuana.

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Jeff

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what do you call a man who go his head cut off in a car accident? dead.

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Mary- Hey Dallas, do you have a suitcase? Dallas- Yeah, why? Mary- I need a suitcase

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What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? Misthrown

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What did the bartender say to the man? can i have a beer if you dont get it the bartender asked the customer for a beer

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why was the little girl crying? because i raped her.

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What's the difference between tires and a black guy? Tires don't scream once there are chains around them. ;)

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Why Didn't The Teenager Bring His Report Card Home to His Parents? Because He Was Murdered By Thugs Walking Home From School.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops