My cake is yummy, It's icing is blue. It will always be mine, Come close and I'll punch you. So stay away from it And you will be safe, But if you dont listen, Prepare ice for your face!

It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from. So, you should probably leave.

Knock knock Go away

Q: Why Did The Family Eat Olive Garden For Dinner A: Because it was a simple way to please everyone but letting them choose their own meal

What did the rabbi say at the party? Mazel Tov.

Roses are grey Violets are grey Im a dog

what did the surfer do on his computer? browse the internet

what happened to your carpool? they died.

guess what I'm going to Spain on my holidays

What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor? Make me one with everything.

Q: What is red and smells like blue paint? A: my red painted d*ck

Why did the girl fall off the swings? She had no arms

penis likes vagina cuz its straight (get it?? it has an erection!!!!!!)

I walks over to da shop de oother day and there was this guy and he was like... I bought some petrol. LOoooooooooL

What would Muhammed do?

How do you make a kids parents mad? Fly an SR71-BLACKBIRD into him.

how do you starve a black man? hide his food stamps in his work boots.

man, i read a lot but the are some words i can pronounce

A blode walks into a bar, She gets her hair dyed brown and is later presumed smarter due to a the genral public being steriotipical.

Knock, Knock. Who's there? Elephant. Elephant who? Seatbelt.

Why are Chinese women such bad drivers? Only company executives are fortunate enough to own cars in communist China. Furthermore, women are still in a subordinate class in many Eastern societies.

Why didn't the woman go to the kitchen? She was kidnapped and forced into sex-slavery

What did the boy with no parents get for Christmas from his Grampa? Nothing because his Grampa had alzheimer's disease -Flap

Yo momma so fat she ate a tape worm which had to be surgically removed because it further increased her health problems. She's still fat.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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