Roses are red Zombies are hungry and blue My brain is half-eaten And what about you?

What's worst that cancer? Murder porn

when your out of toilet paper what do you do? get more

Roses are red violets are blue. I'm falling in love with you.

Why did the sheriff cross the road? Cuz I told him to.

How many babies does it take to tile a roof? Depends how thinly you slice them

How many babies does it take to change a light bulb? None. Babies shouldn't be changing light bulbs.

What would a man say if you urinated all over his legs? WHAT THE DEUCE?

A man walks into a bar his alcoholism is tearing his family apart

HOREY SHIT!! OMFG!! I win? Yeah I think so.. Wait. Why am I talking to myself.. Aww not again.. My doctor warned me about this.. D:

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Poems don't have to rhyme... Refrigerator

Whats the difference between a baby and a bowling ball? I dont have a bowling ball stapled to my tree

What does it mean if you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars? You both have five dollars

What do you call a middle-aged Polish man on Skype? A lonely man.

Why was the little girl sad? Why???? Because an elephant stamped on her, and shat on her.

What did you call something that is long, hard and full of seamen? A ship.

What do you call a man with no legs, and one arm? Whatever his name happens to be.

What do you do when you say shut up to someone and they say make me? Rip out their vocal cords.

What does a Jew do when he finds money on the street? He picks it up and is probably happy it was there.

What do you say when you walk into an optical? "Hello, can I order a cheeseburger?"

Why is 6 afraid of 7 ? : Because 7 8 9

teacher: say ur alphabet kid: abcdefghijklmnoqrstuvwuxyz kid:wheres the pee teacher:half way down my leg

Your momma so fat when she went to the beach she was to self concious and left her shirt on.

What did the boy say before he died? I'm dying.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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