What would a man say if you urinated all over his legs? WHAT THE DEUCE?

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the reason why waldo is hiding from chuck norris is because they are playing hide and seek.

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How do you stop a black man from drowning Get your foot off of his head

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Q:Why did Santa, the tooth fairy, and a rich man jump out of a plane? A: On Christmas Eve, a rich man was skydiving and lost his tooth as he plummeted towards the beautiful plateau.

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Three people are stranded on an island. They didn't want to eat each other because they were friends. They died of starvation.

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If you walked into a grocery store right in the middle of Cuba what won't you see? The missing Malaysian MH370 Boeing.

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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What's better than finding a $5.00 bill on the floor? Finding the person who actually owns it.

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An asian man, a black man, and a white man walk into a bar. All three of them order a scotch, coincidentally this is their favorite beverage.

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Opinions are like assholes, neither one can ride a bike, except for the assholes

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I got a baseball bat can i talk to you ?

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Patient: "Doctor, my arm hurts when I poke it with my index finger." Doctor: "That's because your finger is broken."

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What did the serial killer do when his check bounced? He promptly deposited more money into his account.

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Your dad walked into a bar. It was a gay bar.

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High school is like forced anal sex, Hard, painful, and you cry your hopes and dreams at the end of it all.

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Why do jews get their foreskin cut off? Because they're jewish.

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot you racist.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why not?

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Have you heard of the mute man that kept telling people he could not talk? Its funny because its true.

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Roses are red pineapple is yellow I'll shove your head up my ass so you can eat some marshmallows!

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A bus full of retarded kids got broken on his way. One kid suggested to the bus driver that the problem could be with the brakes, as that kid's father was a mechanic.

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Whats brown, large, thick, and sticky? a stick

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A Hideo Kojima AntiJoke Typed by Hideo Kojima. Idea By Hideo Kojima. Concept By Hideo Kojima Spacing by Hideo Kojima Controlled for typos by Hideo Kojima Overseen By Hideo Kojima Aproved By Hideo Kojima. Reconsidered By Hideo Kojima Accepted by Hideo Kojima What took you so long?

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Why can't Ray Charles see his friends? He's blind. Also he is dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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