What did the single woman get for Christmas? Raped.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did sally fall off the swings? Because she had no arms. Knock knock? Who's there? Not Sally

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Beating cancer. Guess Steve Jobs they didn't make an app for that.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple. finding two worms in your apple. and being an orphan.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

"It smells like Up dog in here." "How do you know what the dog from the movie "Up" smells like? It's computer-animated and not real." "I...I think I have a brain tumor..."

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Q: What would happen if you threw a red brick into the black sea? A: It would get wet.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

"Knock Knock" "Who's there" "BOO" "BOO WHO" "No it's just BOO"

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A white straight man, a black gay man, and an Asian bisexual woman walk into a bar. They are enjoying their drinks until one overly intoxicated man makes a remark towards the group in reference to their diversity in race, sexual orientation, and sex. The bar crowd is enthused with the drunk man's genius in not only constructing a joke to cover all three categorical descriptions of the group, but in guessing each member's sexuality based on their respective appearances.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?  The woodchuck's ability to chuck has been left indeterminable. Therefore until the wood chuck's prowess in wood chucking is brought to light we must leave it a variable. Using the coefficient (L) to represent wood that can possibly be chucked. Then using (C) to represent the life cycle of said wood chuck chucking. We are also assuming this woodchuck will remain vigilante and not require food or sleep for the entire duration of chucking ultimately lowering is maximum chucking output. From this we can determine the W.C.P.S. (wood chucks per second). Finally subtract the remaining wood (RW) from the chucked total and we have rendered that :  L(W.C.P.S) - (C -RM/t) = X

thumb_up thumb_down +22

punchline below punchline above

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Showcasing you? Really? I am tired too, yeah its daytime here as well, sleep well then. Hey, by the way, when you where like posting a lot of weird comments, where you trying to impress me?

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What do you call a black priest? HOLY SHIT!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Knock, knock. Door opened.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Haikus usually make sense, but sometimes they don't refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 cantaloupe.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Vote this down and get DOXED

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Say silk 5 times. Silk Silk Silk Silk Silk Now what do cows drink? Water.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What is in the center of our galaxy? Some stars, space, and nebula.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Q: What do you call a black guy flying a plane? A: A pilot you racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

what do you call a cat that looks like a lion 7

thumb_up thumb_down +22

So a man walks into a bar, right?

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why was the blind man bored? - He was in a coma

thumb_up thumb_down +22

every 60 seconds in Africa, a minute goes by.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops