What is worse than standing on a plug? finding out your family have all been killen in a horrible car crash and your neighbours daughter who happens to be your friend has cancer.

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One day, an Irishman, a Jew and an American were walking home from a long game of golf. "God, that was a long game" said the American, to which the Irishman replied "aye, that it was." The Irishman then turned to the Jew, and asked him how he managed to get two birdies in succession. The Jew, after a moment of deliberation, began to explain. "Well, it all began when I was six. See, there was a mountain right next to Casparia, the village I lived for most of my life back in Wales. Every day, I'd come back from school, and ask my dad why nobody ever attempted to scale the mountain. 'To do so would be an unnecessary risk, son, and people are too busy working to put food and water on the tables for their families to undertake something so foolish.' One night, when insomnia was getting the better of me, I decided to get a better look at the mountain, so I strapped on my boots, my fur coat and some woolly mittens and left for the mountain. After a few hours of walking, I approached the closest hill which gave me a perfect view of the mountain's first peak, and there I spotted a polar bear, mauling a hiker to death." The Jew paused to check the Irishman and the American were following, when the American spoke up; "hold on there, there aren't any polar bears in Casparia!" The Irishman also spoke up; "there isn't even a village called Casparia, well, anywhere!" The Jew smiled slightly, and a few seconds later the smile broke out into a gigantic grin, and he finally replied: "exactly".

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Why couldn't the dead man take a shit? He was severely constipated

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This guy says: "Doctor doctor, it hurts when I do this!" He jiggles his arm and screames in pain. The doctor replies: "Well, don't do it then!"

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What did the Jews say before they got of the bus? Let's make like a Jewish kid's forskin and get the hell out of here.

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How do you piss off a teacher? Accuse them of being a pedophile

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I went to Nebraska and saw a dead squirrel

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Why did the sheep cry? Because it contracted cancer

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Knock knock Who's there? Prosti Prosti who? Prostitute

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Your mom is so fat... That you inherited type one diabetes.

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend "I know. You need to quit gnawing when you're giving me a blow job."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the idiot's house... Knock knock Who's there? The Chincken

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Why didn't grandma ever return Johnathon's calls? Grandma was brutally murdered 2 years prior. Johnathon had issues believing that she was gone. He went on to live a life of pain and suffering, which would eventually lead to suicide at the age of 24.

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A woman crashes her car into a pole Thier family is suing for a hit and run

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Why did Jimmy miss a question on his test? He put D

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What does a black person call black friday? Friday

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Q. Pete and Repeat were sitting on a wall. Repeat fell off. Which one was left? A. Pete. Yep.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?! No one... pineapples float.

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What did he African say when he had diarrhea? Shit

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What do you call a swimming pool full of black people? A family enjoying their holiday.

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How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't, he died like everyone else.

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A guy walks into a bar, has a drink then leaves.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have aids, and now you do too!

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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns hoping that at least one of the puns would win. Unfortunately, none of them did.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops