Why did the little kid use pillows at night? Because he was constipated.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? .....Neither have they.

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What's red and the size of a packet of crisps? A Miscarriage

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I used to be schizophrenic, but we're ok now.

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Jews

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Penis

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why didnt Timmy get anything for Christmas?His mom told santa he was very naughty that year

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Black guys shoot. White guys have small penises. Black guys steal. White guys have keep money. Black guys are broke. That's what she said.

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what happened when a chicken laid an egg? it died

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Why do girls like nikki minaj? Because she raps good. -Avery Vartanian

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An American and Russian are arguing about their country. The American says "I can do things you can't. I can walk into the White House and into the Oval Office. I can bang my hands on my President's desk and say "Mr. Obama, I don't like the way you're running your country." The Russian says, "I can do that." The American says, "No, you can't." The Russian says, "Sure I can. I can go to Vladimir Putin's office and say "Mr. President, I don't like the way Mr. Obama's running his country."

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Why didn't the door open? Because it was locked

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do you have a pen i can borrow? yeah, here.

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If life throws you lemons, throw them back and ask for some water because lemonade only makes you thirstier due to the large amounts of sugar used.

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Why was the lady afraid of cooking? Because her husband always beat her with a frying pan

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You mothers so ghetto, you died.

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Q: Why did the policeman stare at the big-breasted victim? A: She was dead.

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This couple is having the most passionate sex ever one night, and the guy cums before he gets a chance to pull out. He gets the woman pregnant. Now they are married.

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What does samios search on google? Shemale gey big t.it lactating big c.ock An.al tearing Ana.l dilation school girl rape compilation

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Why did the car slow down? Becuase the driver pressed the break

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What's yellow and shark infested? Shark infested banana pudding.

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How did Jimmy get into the R movie? He bought a ticket.

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Q.what do you call 7x7 A.A math equation

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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