Why didn't little Jimmy eat his dinner? Jimmy didn't eat his dinner because there was no food. Jimmy is a poor street urchin who died of starvation.

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What did Batman say to Robin before getting in the car? Get in the car.

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Billy Mays and Michael Jackson are up in Heaven, because they died recently.

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What's black on bottom and white on top?? Society

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Little Miss Muffett sat on her tuffet eating her curds and whey along came her food allergies and she died

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What do You call a man with no arms or legs? Dead, He died of blood loss 3 hours ago

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Last night, I went fishing, caught a fish, brought it home, grilled it, ate it, and went to bed.

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Why can't Stevie Wonder read? Because he's blind.

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Why did the mentally disabled child begin to cry? Because he shit himself

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knock, knock who's there? Dave. ....oh well dave's not here man.

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The movie starts off with Tom Cruz jumping out of a plane. He hits the ground and dies, end of movie. - Cole G.

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What's worse than losing your job? Getting repeatedly hit in the face with a brick after getting fired from your job.

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Jeff has 45 candy bars. He eats 40. What does Jeff have? Diabeetus

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Why was the Mexican man in the rich man's garden? Because he enjoys flowers.

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What would you do for a klondike bar? I'm allergic to milk.

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yo mamas so dumb she named her house butt and her son crack and then she called the police saying I looked all over my butt and i can not find my crack.

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This is not an anti-joke... A man is walking down a street and see's a small boy crying in an alley. The man walks up to him and asks him "What's wrong little guy?" The boy replies that his family is poor, they just got evicted from there house and his parents decided to kill themselves. The man decides out of guilt to bring the boy home and support him for a few days. Three days later the man see's a note on the couch that says "Thank You..." Signed Jamal. The man sighs and says to himself "Your Welcome." The man walks into his room and see's the boy's body in his closet. He starts hysterically laughing and cries into his pillow for many minutes. When he is done sobbing he asks himself "What could be worst than this?" The man walks to his kitchen asking that question over and over. He reaches into his cabinet and grabs his cereal and pours into his bowl. The boy walks out chuckling and says, "Bye bye..." The man was poisoned and died. Now the boy get's the other cereal out and is about to pour it only to find out it was empty. "Screw the Holocaust this SUCKS!!!!!"

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How do you kill a red elephant? You can't red elephants don't exist.

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Q: If a Hungarian boy grows up to be a very successful payroll manager and learns to love and hate, show compassion while firing someone, and how to re-image the entire white house's security system, how many pickles are in the doghouse? A: 17

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was in the designated crosswalk area and there was no oncoming traffic.

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Why does Owen Wilson have an ugly nose? Because of his refusal to get plastic surgery.

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why did the homosexual man cross the road? to get to his gay partner.

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I like my women like I like my coffee Without a penis

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A christian and an atheist are in a bar. The christian says "if you don't accept Jesus Christ as your lord and savior you will go to hell." The atheist replies "No I won't."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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