- Anti Joke

What did jesus REALLY say while walking on water? "I really hope I find a nice patch of sand to swim in."

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard you throw 'em.

What did Little Jimmie say to his mom when he got home frome school? Nothing his moms dead.

Why did the dyslexic chicken cross the toad? Because the toad mocked his dyslexia, and the chicken does not tolerate rude bastard toads.

Why wasn't the man able to see his son? He got run over by a train. Knock knock Who's there? The man. He was kidding about being run over.

why couldn't three people walk? they were a part of the human centipede.

Knock Knock! Who is there? I am the milkman and I have your milk.

Knock, Knock Who's there It's me open up the D#### door it's me open up the D#### door, who? just open the door this is not a fricken knock knock joke.

Roses are red Violets are red Bushes are red Why's my garden on fire?

What's a black guys favourite thing to eat? Food.

What's the difference between a Jew and a canoe? One is a type of small aquatic craft, and the other is a human being who practices Judaism.

Why did the girl fall off of her highchair? Her father threw an axe at her.

What kind of a prediction is THAT?

How many women does it take to replace a light bulb? Please advise. Thanks, Holly

How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a light bulb? wanna go ride bikes?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

What did the tourist in Africa get? AIDS

You know what topping goes bad with ice cream? Chloroform

Potassium? K.

How do you get a Hooker Wet? Dump her in a River.

Why did the condom drive over his pet mac and cheese? Because his uncle was not george bush.

What did tarzan say when he saw the elephants? Here come the elephants

Whats more realistic than evolution? Everything

Roses are red, Violets are blue. Some poems rhyme, Some don't.

How do you make transportation in Harlem easier? Fix the roads and put in more stoplights.