What's green and blue that is shaped like the earth? The earth

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a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

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a young cow was sitting on a bench until her husband shot her after that he said to the farmer 'i will get the milk than you cut the udders and then maranade them

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A blonde, brunette and redhead are walking in the forest when they come across a set of tracks. The brunette says, "Those are dear tracks." The redhead says, "Those are elk tracks." The blonde says, "Those are moose tracks." They are then hit by bus.

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How do you kill two birds with one stone. You don't its not humanly possible because birds cannot be killed with rocks.

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What did the Ginger get for Christmas? A: a soul

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Miranda Cosgrove's singing career. ......Thats it. Thats the joke.

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Moralman... Seriously man, take it easy, my name is Nero, yes I play dual identities sometimes, it is only in order to convey my hidden messages to my people. I am deeply sorry to admit that those that assaulted you where indeed from my order, they have been prosecuted by the law and excluded from our order.

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Gangnam style

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What does the Fawkes say? "Remember, remember, the 5th of November..."

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What is a homeless man for Halloween? A garbage bag

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Why Did sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms

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once upon a time y o u m a d BIBIBIDYYEAHBIIBAIDYEAH THAT'S ALL FOLKS

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Two families of pedophiles go to the beach. One of the dads lays down to suntan and looks at the other dad. "Hey! Get out of my son!" he exclaims.

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A girlfriend scolds her boyfriend for "sitting on anti-joke all day." He then explains how it is impossible to sit on something that exists purely in digital form and instead noted it would be more correct to say sitting at a desk all day. She complied and saw the error of her ways.

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where did suzie go when the bomb hit her?? Everywhere

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Sometimes when you drink sperm you choke

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Why wasn't the drunk driver arrested when he killed a man? Because he died as well.

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Eats shoots and leaves Pandas. If you can't figure this out then you're probably 12

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Roses are red. Violets blue i do fuck people. MAYBE u too?

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ask me if I'm a tree.. are you a tree? no.

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What did the bird say on twitter? Tweet tweet.

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*Phone rings* Hello? Hi, is your refrigerator running? No, it actually broke down yesterday. Are you the repair man? Yes, the repairs will cost $400

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What happened when the man killed a baby? He was captured by the authorities and sentenced to life in prison.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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