What did one tube of glue say to the other tube of glue? Nothing. Inanimate objects, such as a tube of glue, however adhesive the contents of said objects are, are in no way capable of advanced speech, let alone basic communication.

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Why did the boys uncle stop calling him? His uncle died of cancer 3 months ago.

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What did the feminist say to the CIS white male? I respect you as a person.

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There are four worms walking in a straight line. The first worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me!" The second worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The fourth worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" How can this be? ...the fourth worm lied!

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Just kidding! Stephen Hawking doesn't drink.

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What did the blonde say to the chicken? mmm, delicious

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Q: Why did Sara fall off the swing? A: She had no arms... Q: Knock Knock! Q: Who's there? A: NOT SARA! --- Q: Okay... What song does Sara sing to her arms? A: Somebody That I Used To Know... --- Now. If you're happy and you know it clap your... nevermind O_O

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What did the watermelon say to the apple? Nothing. Watermelons are fruits and incapable of speech.

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What is grey and smells like sand? A Rock.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was DEAD!

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What is black and white and red all over? A Zebra that has been fatally maimed by a hungry lion.

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how many babies does it take to paint a house? that is child labor, which is illegal in many countries.

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What did the suicide bomber say on new years day? Happy new year.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? Max

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a man walked into a store got what he wanted and left.

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Why did the white kids accept Morgan Freeman as a kid? All of his school-mates looked up to him

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knock knock who's there? It's Jim we haven't seen each other since college Why hello there come on in

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? None.

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Why didn't the boy go to school? He was sick.

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John Rustenburg at the dinner table

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Why did the deer die Because Jupiter is incapable of supporting life

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Q: What's the difference between lucky charms and a baby? A: One is magically delicious and the other is a breakfast serial.

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Why did the shark put on a dress? She was getting ready for prom.

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how do you kill a little girl? seeing as murder is a federal offence i will not tell you how. you should be ashamed for asking.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops