Why can't Helen Keller Drive? Because she's dead.

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Cancer.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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DONT READ THIS. YOU WILL BE KISSED ON THE NEAREST POSSIBLE FRIDAY BYrnTHE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE.TOMMOROW WILL BE THE BEST DAY OF YOUR LIFE. NOWrnYOU'VE STARTED READING THIS. DON'T STOP. THIS IS SO FREAKY.rn1. say your name ten times.rn2.say your mom's name five times.rn3. say your crushes three timesrn4. paste this to four other groups.rnIf you do this, your crush will kiss you on the nearest Friday.rnBut if you read this and do not paste this, then yournwill have very bad luck.rnSEND THIS TO 5 GROUPS IN 143 MINUTES. WHENrnYOU'RE DONE PRESS F6 AND YOUR CRUSH'S NAME WILL APPEAR IN BIG LETTERSrnON THE SCREEN. THIS IS SO FREAKY BECAUSE IT ACTUALLY WORKSrnrnrn

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Why couldn't sally go on the swing? Because she has no arms. Knock knock Who's there Sally

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An Asian Woman is late and is driving her car very fast to her daughters wedding. She arrives at a reasonable time to witness the whole event.

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How does Bob Marley like his donuts? He doesn't, he tragically died of melanoma in 1981.

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What does it smell like, what does it feel like, do you like it? Yes

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what do you call an indian dating service? you dont call it anything there all arranged marriages.

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An Irishman walks out of a bar...

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Roses are red Violets are blue I rather sleep in the class Like a boss in the school -HairyBoss

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Roses are black Violets are black Im Helen Keller WWWHHAATTTTT!?!?

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Dude: Hey want to hear a joke? Other dude: What is it? Dude: Joke. Other dude: What? Dude: I don't know. That was a joke ladies an gentleman.

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A Black man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder and the bar tender says " thats something weird you got there". The parrot says "yeah i found it on the street".

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Your mom's so hairy, she should go to the barber!

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What does a snake and a dog have in common? They are both reptiles but except the dog.

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I saw a mexican drowning and saved him... as my screensaver ;)

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Ring. Ring. Hello? Hey, It's Sean Oh hi! How are you?

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What did the little boy with cancer get for Christmas? Shot.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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what do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? names...

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Camero? - The Camero isn't in my garage.

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How can you put 2 elephants in a bottle without touching each other. You put an elephant between them.

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Whats the difference between a jewish man wearing a fedora and glass of almond milk? Ones a glass of almond milk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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