"I have some good news and some bad news, which do you want to hear first?" The good news. "There is no bad news." Then what's the bad news? "There is no bad news.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How do you get a clown off a swing? You hit him with an axe How can you release your anger at somebody? Kill them How do you stop a bus? Throw small children at it

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Two guys walk into a bar; A Mexican and a Canadian. The Mexican guy says "Bartender, give me a 2 shots of Tequila, por favor". The Canadian guy says "Bartender, give me a shot of Club and a Molson, eh". They continue to drink until neither can feel the crippling pain of their mundane lives - then they each leave the bar, walk home and sleep alone.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Stop being a centipede

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Knock Knock Who's there? re-posession officers

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Two muffins are baking in an oven. The muffins do not talk or move, because they not living.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why couldn't Jim pogo-stick? He didn't have one.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

DAMMIT MY IPHONE IS IN REPAIR AND I CANT GET THE APP!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why were Jews discriminated against for thousands of years? They weren't supposed to. Jews are people just like you and me. And for every ignorant person out there that hates Jews, you better watch your back because God is watching you.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Whats worse than a little kid falling. Him getting vigorously raped by his father every night.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Knock Knock. Who's there? God. God Who? ::Apocalypse follows::

thumb_up thumb_down +13

how do you make the president cry ?? shoot his family !!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact? Some men are blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Roses are grey Violets are grey Everything is grey I'm colorblind

thumb_up thumb_down +11

what's better to a kid than ice cream from an ice cream truck? when you realize the driver was at your house 3 days ago notifying you that he is a convicted pedophile.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A 75 year old man walks into a college classroom and sits down. He suffers from severe dementia and realizes that he's been in the classroom before. A 75 year old man walks into a college classroom...

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How do you kill a blonde? Put a scratch-n-sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the white guy said to the black guy, when he stepped on his foot? Excuse me.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Once upon a time there were seven dwarfs. They were named Steven, Jason, John, Peter and Alfred.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Listen Nero, lol "listen", anyway, you seem pretty quick to take the blame for my mistakes here, I mean sigh... ...I would never send anyone to harass anyone, but then again I should never allowed them to join in the first place, how bad is that eye doing by the way? I am deeply sorry, I never meant for anything like this to happen. I am eating as I write, I mean I am still scared, I would not blame you if you still keep burning anger towards me.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did he die? He was sick.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm not good at poems Nice tits

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Knock knock! Who's there? Hello. We would like to talk about Jesus with you.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Your Mom is so poor she can't afford home-owners insurance.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops