What is worse than a fly in your soup? Getting hit by a train.

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What did the bartender say to the bugatti owner? "Don't drink and drive"

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Knock knock Who's there A drummer A drummer who I'm not knocking on your door

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What happens when you shoot a priest in the heart? He dies.

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Why did Jerry Sandusky go to the shower room? He hadn't showered all week and was beginning to smell.

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How do you make a builder sad? You shit on his bricks.

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Why do teenagers, especially girls between the ages of 12-17 love Justin Bieber? Answer: Because he promotes himself worldwide and creates a fanbase large enough to promote his career thus increasing profits which provides him a better quality of life and great financial future

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How could problems have been avoided in the old west? Bigger towns

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How did the blind man eat his soup? With a spoon. Despite no vision, the man could feel the shape of what he was touching.

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Why was the white guy eating himself? He was a autocannibal.

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How do you get a baby out of a blender? Pour it.

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My butt!!!!

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A Jew and a German walk in a bar. they've accepted their peoples past and learned to move on with their lives

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What does a paralysed mans legs feel like? We don't know, he is paralysed

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I spilled Spot Remover on my dog. Now he is blind and has chemical burns all over his body.

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There once was a man from Peru, Who dreamed he was eating his shoe. He woke with a fright in the middle of the night, To find nothing amiss.

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Joe goes to the bathroom with someone in the next stall named Bill Bill: "Hi" Joe: "Hi" Bill: "How you doing" Joe: "Good" Bill: "You traveling" Joe: "Yes to Alabama" Bill: "Yeah, I got to go a guy in the next stall answering all my questions bye"

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What do you call a giggling penguin? Personification.

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why did the bear fall out of the tree? the bear got shot

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Knock Knock Who's there? No one was there. It was two birds flew into the door and died.

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Why did the blonde kill herself? She was diagnosed with major depression and was dealing with a lot of traumatic events in her life.

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Yo mama's so fat she couldn't ride on roller coasters with you in Disney world. Sometimes you wish you could share more fond memories with her.

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What do Ethiopian children do at night? Starve

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Were did Suzie go after the bombing? A: everywere

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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