whats the hardest part of the vegetable to eat? the wheelchair

Why did the thief steal the kitchen sink? Everything else was stolen by another thief earlier in the day.

Why did the chicken cross the road? His motives so far are unknown as he is a chicken, and therefor cannot divulge the information.

What did the blind, deaf and dumb kid get for his birthday? Broken arms and legs

why did jimmy fall off the swing? because he was a tree.

Why did the person play his XBOX 360? because he felt like it.

What is the best thing since sliced bread? Sliced butter.

What's red and round? A red and round solid.

Knock Knock Come In! Who me? Yeah. Ok.

a little girl gets raped

What's the similarity between a grape and an elephant? Both are purple except for the elephant.

A man walks into a bar. End of story.

why do black people hate aspirin? Its white, it works, and you have to pick cotton to get to it.

Hello, ladies, look at your man, now back to me, now back at your man, now back to me. Sadly, he isn’t me, but if he stopped using ladies scented body wash and switched to Old Spice, he could smell like he’s me. Look down, back up, where are you? You’re on a boat with the man your man could smell like. What’s in your hand, back at me. I have it, it’s an oyster with two tickets to that thing you love. Look again, the tickets are now diamonds. Anything is possible when your man smells like Old Spice and not a lady. I’m on Sarah Jessica Parker.

Why doesn't Santa Claus like cantaloupe? Because he doesn't exist. You have to exist to like cantaloupe.

What would you call the Flintstones if they were black? N*ggers.

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a bagel.

What did Santa Claus get for Christmas? Non-believers.

What did the terrorist have for breakfast? Scrambled eggs and a glass of orange juice.

how much dub would a dubstep step if a dubstep could step dub? purple

Q:A man has 100 chocolate bars he eats 93 of them. What has he got now? A:Diabetes

I am funny, yes? No, you are not.

Hey, is that your corvette? No, I thought it was yours.

a rabbi sees a nazi in time square. he simply walks past because as we are in america the nazi can do nothing to harm him.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...