Q.How Do You Make 7 People Laugh? A.Tell Them a Good Joke.

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Why did the elephant die? It was murdered by poachers for it's valuable ivory tusks.

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Why did the short man fall down the stairs? He got shot in the face with an assault rifle.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

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Whats bent but straight for danielle? Joseph Plummer

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Once upon a time there was a young teenager who was bullied a lot. She died 100 years ago.

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Optimist: The glass is half full. Pessimist: The glass is half empty. Realist: Find something better to do than talk about a glass.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being raped by a giant scorpion.

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what is black and is a really bad neighbor. your bad neighbor wearing a black shirt.

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? His mother threw a brick at him.

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What's more disturbing than finding an apple in your worm? The fact that you're eating a worm.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are in a terrible ship crash that leaves them stranded on a desert island. All of their survival supplies sank with the boat so they don't last very long.

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One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

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why did the plant eat a banana? it was hungry

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If life throws you melons, you should do your best to avoid them. Large and hard objects such as melons can easily harm you if moving at high speeds. Fortunately, life is not a physical entity that can throw melons or anything else - so the chances of this event occurring to you are exceedingly low.

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Why did the Mexican cross the road? Because he was late for his uncle's funeral, which was taking place in the church across from his apartment.

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whos on the right track? lady gaga

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What did you say? I'm blind. (Did not write this meaning to be offensive)

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I'm Polish.

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Why is Short Circuit the best movie ever made? Because it tastes like lemons

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Jimmy: Daddy how are babies made? Dad: If i knew how you wouldn't be here...

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Two frogs go to the bar only to leave because frogs can't open up doors.

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They say that men are from Mars, and women are from Venus. If that is true, then who on Earth are we? [L]

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My cat just died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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