Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. ------ Knock Knock Whose there? Not Suzie

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs.

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Question: What is worse then a worm in your apple? Answer: A number of different things I would imagine...

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? That is not nearly as important as how to cure cancer so let's not worry about it.

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Just checked my Tesco burgers in the fridge and they're still within the use by date.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a truck.

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Knock Knock Whos there? Knock knock? Whos there? Knock knock. WHOS IS THERE?!?!? Knock Knock is, my name is Knock Knock.

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whats floppy and smells like trout? trout.

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A guy walks into a bar. He meets a girl and they have a great time. He calls her the next day and their relationship continues for many months. Eventually they get married and have children.

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If a tree falls on a deaf person, does anyone care?

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue.... I hate your guts.

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Where did Little Johnny go when the bomb hit? Everywhere.

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Why couldn't the color blind orphan find his apple? Because he was also blind.

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My house is on fire I'll probably die posting this joke

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Playing hide and seek with Dennis Ferguson

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What's long hard and full of seman. A submarine.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was Hellen Keller.

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A man realizes the whole time he has wanted to fly like a bird. His funeral was two weeks later

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Pansies are purple, Nothing rhymes with purple.

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Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left it.

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do you know who loves getting fisted? sock puppets

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Daisy's are white, Metallica.

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A man and wife were having a vacation when suddenly the man falls to the floor and starts having a seizure. The woman screams "Oh my God, is there a doctor in the house?!" Then a doctor appears and helps the man with the appropriate method of handling a seizure. The doctor says everything is going to be okay.

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John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt has a really long name.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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