A duck flies into a bar. The bartender allows it to stay because it turns into a beautiful swan. The goose then lays a golden egg and the bartender stares in awe as a giant bean stalk grows out of the egg. He's ecstatic and really glad he let the flamingo stay with all the wonderful colors and magic going on.

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What did Sally want for Christmas? Nothing, she is Jewish.

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I don't get it

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hey chris what yu doing wit my back pack? using it..

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What's the difference between a man and a woman? The latter has two additional letters added to the beginning.

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How do you cut the sea in half? You can't. There are an odd amount of letters. You would have to jeopardize the "e", but then it would no longer be "sea".

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Knock Knock whos there? brad are you thomas brad are you thomas who? for goodness are you a parot or something

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A blone walks into a bank in New York City and asks the bank teller for a $5000 loan because she's going to Mexico for 2 weeks. The bank teller said he would need some security for the money. The blonde tells him her new Rolls Royce is in the parking Lot and she hands him the keys. The blonde gets the money and goes on her trip. Another employee at the bank then parks the car in the underground parking garage. He later ffinds out the blonde is a multi millionaire. When the blonde arrives home from she pays back the $5000 and $15 interest. When the bank teller asks her why she gave them a $250000 car for security or needed the $5000 loan if she was a multi millionaire, the blonde answers, "Where else can you park your car in New York City and expect it to stillbe there when you return?"

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What did the star say to the asteroid? Nothing, astral bodies can't talk, you dipshit.

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Q Why did the chicken cross the road A Nobody knows why because nobody is psych

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Roses are grey, Violets are grey, Everything's grey, I'm a dog.

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knock knock Dave's not here.

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Bill: Hey Bob guess what? Bob:What? Bill: your adopted

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The chicken didn't cross the road. Therefor, there is no why.

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What does a spider Pig do? Nothing. They dont exist.

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There are 2 black guys in a car. Who's driving? The police.

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Q: What is green, jumps and says i'm a frog? A: A frog that talks

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Two men walk into a bar. The first man says to the bartender "I'd like some h2o". The second man says "I'd like some h2o to". The second man died.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because he got shot in the face. Why couldn't the boy get back on the swing? He had no arms. Why didnt his mum come and save him? She is blind, deaf and in a wheelchair.

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whats orange and cant talk? an orange

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knock knock who's there? the man the man who? the man who murdered your whole family

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Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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What can be smooth but also rough? Endoplasmic Reticulum

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Why did the man throw his son out the window? His house was on fire

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops