An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

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Why'd the guy fall off the building? I pushed him

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Why did the blind man laugh at the book. He didn't

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How do you make a clown cry? Kill his family

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender asks: "why the long face?" The horse replies: "my wife has terminal cancer."

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Why did the Asian crash her car? Someone shit on her windsheild.

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what ddo you call someone that has a small dick benjamin

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A man walks into his room with a DVD and a box of kleenex. The DVD is a wedding video of his now dead wife.

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What is the similarity between Moses and Muhammad? They both have the same letter starting their names

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? It thought they were playing follow the leader. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? It had no arms. Why did the little girl fall off her tricycle? She was hit by three monkeys and a refrigerator.

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car Get in the car

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Whats the best day of the week? Sponge

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A dog walks into a bar, followed by his blind owner.

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What do you get when a black man crosses a white man on the street? A black man and a white man on the street..

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Why can't Larry drive? Larry's a rock.

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How does micheal Jackson know when it's bed time? When the big hand touches the little hand.

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Q. How do you wake up a sleeping rich man? A. By splashing acid in his face

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What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong walked on the moon and Michael Jackson appeared in court several times under charges of child molestation

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What happens when you cross a Mexican and a Chinese man? A multiracial man.

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Knock Knock Who's there? My foot. My foot who? My foot in your ass.

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*Pretend your an orphan] Knock knock Who's there? Not your parents.

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What can be said about a high school drop out who is 30, lives with his mom, and plays WoW all day? He is probably a very high level mage

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Coming this fall, A hilarious movie for the whole family to enjoy, actor Rob Schneider play a very normal man would goes to work everyday to support his family who he loves more than anything in the world, critics are saying that this is the most vulgar slapstick comedy of the year as Rob Schneider teaches his two adopted kids the power of Jesus Christ. Coming this fall... The Nun's Birthday Rated R for excessive nudity of Rob Schneider and an asian hooker.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and my dinner??? Nothing...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops