What do you call a woman who can't walk? A paraplegic.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

You dork, seriously, the comment where I mentioned that I am married is like 60000 comments PAGES behind. What? Now you ashamed of losing your, I mean I can say that I am your first right? That I am going to stick my MANFLESH into your CHERRY AND POP IT RIGHT? JUST TRYING TO BE SUBTLE HERE! Seriously though, Your name is really Tifa? And you look a FUCKING HELL A LOT Like Tifa From Final Fantasy... You know, except she has gigantic feet and no lips and you know...

thumb_up thumb_down -17

why did the kid burst into flames cause he lit himself on fire

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Knock, Knock! Who's there? Hatch! Hatchoo! Bless you!

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Myth: Everyone but redheads has a soul. Fact: No one has a soul.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A black man, a mexican man, and a caucasian man, walk into a bar with handguns. The three break out into a gun fight and everyone is killed in the cross-fire

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Your momma is so old, it is likely that she will pass away in the near future, and I would recommend you to spend some quality time with her.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Now this bible thing, is a real anti joke so get ready to have your faith tested, and overcome it: There was that story where God charged against an army at the top of some mountains, the army is told to have been led with God personally at the front rank right? But they lost because the enemy had horse wagons (you know what I mean) made of steel or iron, (does not matter what it is if you ask yourself really) I mean even if it was Metatron, he would have had uh... Wings or something to even the odds, Maybe God is like Raiden from Mortal Kombat, he needs to become a Mortal in order to enter fights on earth... MORTAL KOMBAAAT! I mean God made humans humans made Sin (gotta say we get the blame for a lot of shit others did, I hate apples and cant even stand the smell of them for once, never ate one)

thumb_up thumb_down -17

There are 4 people in a crashing plane, but there are only 3 parachutes. But, the teenage girl says she is depressed and cannot go on. The older woman breaks down into tears because she is reminded of her rough child hood. The two 21 year old twins start crying, too, because they were corrupted by their alcoholic father who would come home and abuse their family. As they were all crying, the two pilots and the flight attendant took the parachutes and jumped. The older woman realized she went to flight school when she was young so she took control. They were are happy and drank a little bit too much alcohol and got drunk. The pilot also drunk and crashed into a huge skyscraper. This catastrophe was later named 9/11.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Read This line it the tune of "If your happy and you know it" If you're reading this, Do your homework. Sincerely, Your Teacher

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Cancer. Super Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What's worse than waking up with a clown in your bed? Waking up with a dead clown in your bed.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

why was the woman in the kitchen? because societal standards placed her in such a situation

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What is black, white, and red all over? something that just so happens to be seen by the color blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the cat lick the black guy. Because the cat thought it was dirty.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

whats the best joke ever? womens rights

thumb_up thumb_down -17

yo mama so fat, she got more chins than china town

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What did the monkey say to the lion? I'm being sexually abused by my handler, and feel so violated.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Your mama is so fat, we are all seriously concerned about her health.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

How about that airline food?

thumb_up thumb_down -17

I'm a blonde... rejected from Kaplan.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What's better than Sookie? The holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What's bigger than a breadbox? Whitney Houston's coffin.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he knew that the neighbors wouldn't "touch him there"

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops