Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's Where am I

thumb_up thumb_down -27

whats worse then being married to your dog eating your dog out

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why did the woman leave the kitchen? She didn't, she's a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

how many Amish men does it take to change a lightbulb? Just one, but the likelihood of an Amish man needing to change a lightbulb is very slim.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Knock knock, ... Little Timmy bursts into tears, Because his parents don't love him.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why did Kim Kardashian's and Kris Humphries marriage last so long? It didn't

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Whats green and has wheels?? - Grass, I lied about the wheels

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why do men not get cullulite? Because it's ugly.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What did the computer say to his girlfriend? I'm going to RAM you tonight.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

how do u get a bonar? u look at your mum!!

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Roses are red Violets are blue Sugar is sweet And I hate Jewish people

thumb_up thumb_down -27

How do you get to the store, if your car is broken down? Steal a blind girls bike, she can't ride it anyway!

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What shoots rockets but is not classed as a deadly weapon? A toy rocket launcher, I lied about the rockets.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

roses are gray, violets are gray, Im a dog

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why was Michael Jackson so bad at dancing? Because he had a broken leg.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

The adventures of HAROLD THE MONGOOSE: Harry dug a hole. He did not like that hole so he dug a new one. He liked that hole so he did not dig another one. Harry slept on a rock. He did not like that rock. So he smashed it with a ham. Harry found a new rock. He liked that rock so he didn't smash it with a ham. Harry ate a snake. He did not like that snake so he regurgitated it. Harry ate another snake. He liked that snake so he did not regurgitate it. Harry encountered a bush. He did not like that bush. Unfourtianately for Harry, that Bush became president.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Two guys walk into a bar, a spanish guy and a black guy. They get some drinks, call a taxi to arrive home safe. And kiss their wives and kids goodnight. They go to bed early after reading a wallstreet journal. And wake up early so they can both go to their jobs as college professors. To white kids.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

I just flew in from Seattle, and boy is their airport difficult to navigate.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

See what I did here? ;) Ladies, I just need some space okay? Damn Space Invaders... Ijustmetthespaceinvaderstheytookmyspace << DOUBLE MEANING!

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Skinny people fart less.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why wasn't Abraham Lincoln a good president? Because he got shot in the head and died.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Knock Knock! Who's there? Dog Dog wh- wait how did you knock? *mindblown*

thumb_up thumb_down -27

what is long on joe? Not his dick thats for sure.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops