why did the chicken cross the road? to commit suicide.

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What did the first ant say to the second ant? Nothing. Ants are incapable of communicating via speech.

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:y do people talk? ;idk :oh then nevermind

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LOL we are spamming this site too much!

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Why did the monkey fall off? It had no more lives. Why did the second monkey fall off? I dunno. Why did the third monkey fall off? Since the second was unknown, the third does not exist. Why did the little girl died? It's pretty obvious.

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A duck walks ino a bar...... f*ck this sh*t im going to candy land.

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Why did the plane crash? because there were two towers in front of it.

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Nero, I am happy to hear from you again, but it kinda sounds like you are going to get yourself killed or something. Is there something else I can do? If that asshole is suffering, kill him after he is done doing it, I am done with that piece of shit. Honestly, what is going on Nero? You are not going to suicide or something are you? Please respond, right away, or I wont call your wife.

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If Jimmy had 5 apples and his brother had 5 apples then their father would have been married to their mother before they were born.

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Q:Why couldn't the man lick his ice cream? A: Because he lost all of his tongue due to the chemicals of cigarettes.

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Barack Obama

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why was 6 afraid of 7? Because ever since 3 died, 7 had changed. He had turned aggressive and randomly snapped and hit out at some of the other numbers for no apparent reason.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because i was on the other side and we were going to catch a movie

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What do you call Willy Wonka when he is in Colorado? Willy Colorado.

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What do you call a boy with no arms and no legs waterskiing? Skip

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Skrillex.

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Conversation: Hey dawg? Whats that? Hey, remember curiosity killed the cat! You threatening me on my life and calling me a pussy? Im calling the cops. ...Because like Larsons some of my ideas suck, but since I am an asshole I also add them to fill some space.

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Alan: My Grandfather was in the SS and has a leather jacket made jews he killed. Me: Really? Alan: No, i'm korean. My grandfather wouldnt be allowed into the SS.

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What smells like dead rats? Dead hamsters

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Type better antijokes above

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What's green and fuzzy and will kill you if it falls out of tree? A Pool Table

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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why did the alien eat the cow? peer pressure

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a dead baby joke? Dead baby jokes aren't funny.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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