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A man is sitting at a bar. He stands up and goes over to these bikers playing pool. He then walks over to the bartender and says "I bet you three hundred dollars that I can pee in that bottle over there." The bartender looks at the bottle and sees there is a good five meters between the two. The bartender then agrees. The man takes out his penis and begins to pee. His pee stream goes everywhere on the bar, on the cash register, and espicially on the laughing bartender. It goes everywhere except inside the bottle. The man finishes and zips his pants. He then smiles at the bartender while handing him three hundred dollars. The bartender asks "why are you laughing you lost three hundred dollars?" Which the man replies "See those bikers by the pool table laughing?...I bet them five hundred dollars each that I could pee on your bar, on your cash register, and on your face and you would laugh and be happy." The bartender then reached under his bar and toke out his bat. He then continued to break the mans knees and then perceeded to pee on his bruised and battered face.

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In what way are a pile of deceased children and a Ferrari F430 similar? Neither can be found in my garage, nor anywhere under my possession. As for the Ferrari, this is an unfortunate truth. Due to Ferraris' high level of desirability, and to their low supply, the cost of one such car is much more than an average person can afford. As for the pile of deceased children, anyone in possesion (for lack of a better term, as one can not truly possess another human being, even post mortem) of such a grotesque thing is probably too sick and twisted to be submitting jokes with no apparent climax in hopes of stimulating the minds of the joke's readers sense of humor.

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What's the difference between a bomb and a muslim? Nothing. The difference is only apparent. At the fundamental basic building blocks of the universe, everything is made up of quarks.

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What's the best use for a van full of candy? Donating it to an orphanage.

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Nero, I mean it, I want you and your wife to have 15 million dollars, it wont buy you the happiness you seek, but it helps no?

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WHY WAS 6 AFRAID OF 7? I REALLY DONT KNOW!

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What would Micheal Jackson do if he were alive today? THRILLER! THRILLER! THRILLERS NIGHT!

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What did the paper towel say to the tomato? Nothing.

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I was gonna smack jakes titties...but michael was already doing it....:/

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Q: What did Hitler say to the Rabbi? A: I don't like you.

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Nero, I have 30 million dollars left, lets split them and leave ground zero behind us, I know it would make me happy to share them with you.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I blackmailed his family with rape from Ronald mcdonald

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Somebody has robbed your house, how do you gather evidence? Look for traces of watermelon or chicken bones.

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Two cows are standing in a field. One says to the other, 'Have you heard about this mad cow disease?' and the other says 'Good thing we're penguins.'

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Why did the blonde ask the doctor if she should get a new butt? She is insecure about its appearance and believes reconstructive anal surgery is the only solution.

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Guy A walks into a bar and sits down beside guy B, they quickly spark up a quick conversation about golf, Guy B says "i hit the ball so hard, it soared 200 yards", Guy A quickly responds by saying "I hit your mom so hard!" Guy B responds "the jokes on you, my mom has herpes"

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The Princess is in another castle

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A black man, a jewish man and an asian man walk into a bar. They are attending the wake of a friend who died of cancer.

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Why shouldnt you take the virginity of a 14 year old? Their pre-frontal lobe is not developed enough to sufficiently judge the affect of this action on their life.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, that's why I'm asking you.

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Why was it cold in Florida on Monday? Because there was an irregular cold front moving through. The Monday part was just a coincidence.

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Q: Why can you not thumb up your own comment? A: "You've already voted" douche...

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There was this fruit joke, but it had no punchline.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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