What's brown and sticky? A stick. What's green and shitty? A bootleg stick.

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Why did samba hurt her head? Because she fell out of her mum muff

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Whats invisable and smells like a apple? An invisable apple

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Why did the guy to the moo moo cow say? Yesterday, I took a crap at the restaurant and the toilet got stuck so I stole the vehicle and won the lottery.

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Q. Why were the children sad? A. They'd just been abducted by a dodgy old man in a van.

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What did the dog say to the cat before they fought? Lets fight

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Why do birds suddenly appear? Because they can fly

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how do you kill a baby? introduce it to alice cooper

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a black man did not eat chicken.

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A brachiosaurus walks into a cafe "Excuse me I'm an herbivore, can I have a full English breakfast, but with veggie sausages instead of normal sausages, and mushrooms instead of bacon?" Shop keeper: "No you can't. Your too big. You've destroyed my kitchen, and my livelihood. I have nothing left. You've accidently reduced my business to rubble by walking through the door"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was stapled to a donkey

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How many illegal immigrants does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Illegal immigrants don't use lights, they'd get caught. Dumbass.

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Hey girl, do you have a mirror in your pocket? Because I dropped one and I can't find it.

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One day a mexican guy came up with a great anti-joke about jewish guys. Upon sharing it with a canadian buddy of his, he collapsed and died from a cerebral hemorrhage where he was then hit by a bus and mauled to bits by a pack of saber-tooth tigers.

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Knock knock Who's There? Me I kill you again HA HA HA

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What's small, pale blue and sits at the bottom of the pool? "An over ripe blueberry."

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Whats brown and can't ride a bike? A lampshade.

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What's the funniest part of a tomato? The skin.

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Two kids walk into a bar and get arrested for underage drinking.

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knock knock. who's there? interrupting cow. interrupting cow wh... Your mom's a wh0re.

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What's the difference between Harry Potter and a Jew? Harry made it out of the chambers...

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- Why did the man with the big pocket get arrested in Utah? - Because adultery is illegal in Utah.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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