What's the worst part about aids? Telling your wife and kids.

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why was the stone green? I dont know thats why im asking -_-

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because of excess velocity.

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What did the farmer say to the survivor of the plane crash that just crashed on his land? "Need a band-aid?"

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I am aware that my positivity makes me do some bad mistakes, but if negativity is the alternative I will keep taking my chances.

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What do fat kids and whales have in common? Ruth burden

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Q: Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Getting mauled by a pack of hungry wolves

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Do you knpow why Michael Jackson is not dead? Dumbass, he IS dead...

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Whats brown and slippery? A brown slipper.

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Question what is blue and floats Answer everything that is blue that foes not sink

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knock knock Who's there? The Police! Your under arrest.

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What does a dog in a microwave look like? You tell me, I normally close my eyes when I jack off

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Whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew. The pizza doesn't scream in the fire

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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Where did the people go after the bomb went off? EVERYWHERE!!!

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A1: he was shot. A2: he died A3: the forest was being cut down and he got into a machine and was shredded to pieces A4: he fell asleep

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven threatened to kill him and his family.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? It doesn't matter, the only chuck that matters is Chuck Norris.

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What do you think would happen if there was a zombie apocalypse? You would just die.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Why was the girl on the ground? She jumped off a bridge.

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anti jokes are like chickens. they arent funny at all. which makes them funny...

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There are 2 men are standing on the roof of a building, one of them jumps off, the other one is named Peter

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops