A man walks into a bar. He goes up to the Bar Tender and says, "Hit me with all you got!" The bar tender then ducks down under the bar out of sight. He comes back up with a sledge hammer and viciously murders the man. Blood spews everywhere and many others are brutally murdered shortly afterwards. :)

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A muslim walks through a medal detector before the entrance of the airport terminal. The alarm goes off and he is arrested by TSA officials, they open his jacket and find 30lbs of high explosives.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What is about the size of a sausage, flesh-colored and looks like a penis, if you illuminate it with a flashlight on monday nights? - a penis.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How do you catch an elephant? Dig a nice deep hole in the ground, and fill it with ashes. Next, line the outside of the hole with peas. When the elephant comes to take a pea, kick it in the ash hole.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the cat say at his mother's funeral? Nothing. He was too grief stricken over the loss of his beloved guardian.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the teacher arrive late for class? Because his father had a stroke the night before, and they had to rush to the hospital and because of exhaustion, he missed the bus, and arrived ten minutes late.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Those last 4 were by: Walter

thumb_up thumb_down -8

a man goes for blood check up ..........his whole hand was frozen >>>>the doctor cuts his finger'''''' he comes outside crying n sits in a chair n cries.............]]]]]] the person near him asks him why is he cryin...he says i came 4 my blood test the doctor cut my finger.the person next to him cried aloud......the person asked y r u cryin>>>>>>>>>>i came her 4 my urine test ..........????????lol

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What Do You Call A Black Guy Surrounded By Nine White Guys With Bats? Jackie Robinson.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A boy walks into his friend's house for a party. While he waits for his friends to return from the bar he realizes there are many people waiting in different lines for various kinds of drinks. After his friends return he decides he does not want any of the carbonated drinks they had ordered, instead he chooses to wait in the fruit punch line. There is no punch line.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you call the black guy with a gun a ski mask on? Tyrone, because thats his name.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

When Miley Cyrus sticks out her tongue, people usually are there to take a photograph.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

why couldn't Hellen Keller scream when she fell of a building? She was wearing mittens.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven three twelve. Am i doing it right?

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A: I accidentally shot my sister with a rifle! B: you don't have a sister? A: exactly

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the young boy get his Father for Father's Day? A bouquet of flowers for his grave stone.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

LOL we are spamming this site too much!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

why don't you hit a black guy on a bike? because its probably your bike

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A cheetah walks into a bar. The bartender refuses to serve re cheetah, as cheetahs are an endangered species and does not want to risk the cheetah succumbing to alcohol poisoning.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How much is that doggie in the window? $4.95 + Shipping&Handling

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How do you know if you are an alien? When you start maulesting sea creatures for their milk

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why are fish bad at basketball? Because they're afraid of the net...

thumb_up thumb_down -8

69

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops