What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb? The lighbulb isn't also dying of terminal cancer.

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Do you know the joke about the two guys who went to Paris ? Me neither.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs on your porch? Matt.

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How do you stop a run-away bus? You sit down in the driver's seat and gently place your foot on the brake pedular and proceed to press it down. The brake pads, located in the calipers, will squeeze the brake discs and slow the bus eventually to stop at the crosswalk for the old lady accompanied by a young boy scout to cross the street and continue their wonderful lives.

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Wanna hear a joke? Sure. Too bad I don't have one.

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whats the main reason Mexicans have legs? so they can stand.

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make me a sandwich!

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Ask me how old my cat is. How old's your cat? I don't know.

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what's blue and white and red all over? -nothing the "red all over" part implies a contradiction to blue and white.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first koala. Why did the man fall of his bike? He was struck with a falling koala. Why did the fish fall of its bike? Because it's a fish. What is fuzzy and might kill you if it falls on you? A pool table.

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What was the biggest turning point during Michael Vick's transformation from despised felon to MVP candidate? He stopped killing dogs.

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A man walked into a bar and said ow.

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What does a turkey do? I don't know I'm not a turkey

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17

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What did the Mexican firefighter name his twin boys? Thomas and David after his father and grandfather.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Your landlord. I'm here to collect rent

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What's black and not working? An old, broken piano.

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What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint

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How did the square become a circle? Due to the period of recession in our nation, it was found necessary to cut corners.

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A dog walks into a bar, looks at the bartender, lifts its leg and pisses on a bar stool. What does the bartender do ? He chases the dog out the bar and gets a mop to mop up the piss.

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How could they tell Michael Jackson was dead? He showed no vital signs.

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A man walked into a bar. "Ouch"

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Edward and Bella looked at each other. Then they both died. Oh, and Jacob is actually a transvestite.

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A seal walks into a club...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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