KNOCK KNOCK who's there? hello is anybody there? hello?....... .....the number your trying to reach has been removed please hang up the door knob and put the squirrel back in the lawnmower were belongs

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Guess what What

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What did it say on the banner for an international dyslexics support group? Dyslexics of the world unite.

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What did the homeless man say to the man who gave him change? “Mmmm I sure do love pocket lint”

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What's bloody and has wheels? The Holocaust I lied about the wheels.

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What does a homeless man get for his birthday? 25 cents

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What did the penguin say to the tiger? I'm in the wrong country.

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An old jew, an irish man, and a young mexican woman in her mid 20's are on an island. They eventually become hungry to a extremely ravishing extent. The jew cries out: "I can't take the thought of consuming man, because I am only allowed to consume kosher" The Mexican says: "Alright" The Irishman says: "O.K. Until then lets head over to Timilio's... I hear they are a fine establishment and also serve Kosher meals."

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A Polar Bear walks into a bar and says to the barman: "Barman! Give me a whiskey and ............................................................coke." The barman says: "Why the big pause?" to which the Polar bear replies: "Well uhm my father had big paws"

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what do fish smoke? sea weed

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What did the little girl with cancer get for Christmas? Chemotherapy.

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Why did the chicken invent a memory ereaser machine? So he could erease everyone's memory so they would stop making chicken jokes

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A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. One rainy night an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them out for drinks. The friends had a wonderful trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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Why doesn't Stephen Hawking play football? Because he's a nerd.

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why did the chickan cross the road? who let the chickan out?

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I like my women like I like my coffee, a brewed beverage prepared from the roasted seeds of an evergreen shrub of the genus Coffea.

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what do u call a Muslim flying a plane??? 9-11

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Robert: wanna hear a joke? Robort:ok, shoot. Robert: *BANG!*

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Why does Eric Clapton use a Mac? Because he prefers Macs.

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Why did Sally fall of the swing set? Because she got hit with a mattress

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I hate it when I go running and my diick always gets road rash from being dragged So I cut it off

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Why did the girl cross the road? Doesn't matter she got hit by a bus.

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No, you would have made me unhappy and yourself miserable, until you truly value who you are, as we that still look up to you to this day, you wont see the greatness within you.

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What do you get when you watch Cinderella backwards? A woman who learns her place.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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