A mormon walked into a bar and realised it was a bar the he leaves

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Q. Why didn't the Atheist enter the church? A. Because Atheists do not go to church so he had no reason to enter.

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What's worse than breaking your neck on a trampoline? Getting in a car crash on the way to the hospital.

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I hate it when you can't tell whether a person is male or female.

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You say: Why did the chicken cross the road? Response: Why? (or some other answer to a different joke) You say: To get to your house! Knock, knock. Response: Who's there? You say: The CHICKEN!!!!

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Q: What did Michael Jackson do while he was preparing for his newest world tour? A: He died.

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Three men walk into a bar, the bartender asks why are you three men in here? The men look confused and suddenly leave

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Q: Why did the little girl fall off the swing? A: She didn't have any arms.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What's big, black, juicy, large, and succulent? A gourmet meatball.

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I hope you take your own wise words to heart Nero, how would you like to claim to be me and get our ship somewhat on land before it all goes to pieces? After all I have been claiming to be you for a long long time.

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How did the girl fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms.

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A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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Why couldn't the pirate get into the movie? Because he was armed and clearly inebriated.

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Q: Why didn't Jack go up the hill? A: He had prior engagements.

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Two Cows are knitting soda water in a lightbulb. One of them said: Talking about milk, what time is it? The other pulls out a thermometer, looked at it and said: Wednesday.

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What happened when the white man saw a black man running with a purse? He called the police. The police proceeded to chase the black man down tackling him into a dumpster, causing permanent spinal damage. Upon investigation into the situation, the black man was deaf and he was bringing the purse, which contained an epi-pen, to his dying wife a block away. The police officers involved were fired and sued by the family, ruining their lives. Months later they both committed suicide.

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A man walks into a bar, looks around, and reveals an AK-47 assault rifle he had been concealing beneath his trenchcoat. He then turns to his left and fires repeated shots around the bar, to the surprise and fear of many. Then he shoots himself. The death total is estimated at 9, including the shooter, while the total injured is around 22.

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John: Knock Knock! Bill: Who's there John: John Bill: Oh hey John, come in

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I bet you read this. Told ya.

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What do you get when you mix carbonated water, caramel color, aspartame, phosporic acid, potassium benzoate, caffeine, citric acid, and natural flavor? Diet Pepsi

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Roses are red Violets are blue What about green? That seems mean...

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What did the white male say to the black male who had just robbed a bank? I'm glad you have a reliable source of income to feed yourself and your family

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How do you make a person cry? Burn his family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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