Hello

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What color do you get when you mix blue and red? Purple.

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A woman is in a terrible car crash. The husband comes in, runs to the doctor and he says "Doctor! My wife...is she going to make it?" The doctor turns and says "your wife will survive, but she's experienced heavy brain trauma. She will never walk again. You'll have to bathe her, feed her, change her diapers, and cater to her every need." The husband starts crying and says "oh my God that's terrible! Are you serious?" The doctor replies "Yes."

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Your mamas so old she died of old age, R.I.P.

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If Chuck Norris were to roundhouse you. Then something previously happened before the altercation, that caused tension.

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Q: what is blue and floats in a pool? A: a baby Q: what is purple and at the bottom of the pool? A: the baby 5 minutes later

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because, the farmer lacked basic fence mending skills.

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What is the difference between the number 20 and 21 1

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, come at me again and I'll punch you

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Whats the difference between a Philadelphia Flyers fan and a pedophile? What they are.

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Whats worse than pulling down a girls pants and seeing a giant furry bush... finding out her vagina has teeth in it.

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what worse the 2 dead kids in a van 3 dead kids in a van

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What's worse than a duck with one leg? A nuclear explosion

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? A watermelon doesn't scream when you cut it open.

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Q: What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A: One is a person, one is a food.

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Q: Why is Alzheimer not funny? A: To get to the other side.

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Why did Johnny lose the race he got jawed by a pack of chimpanzees

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The ULTIMATE Street Fighter shotokan safety guide one Turbo masters tournament X Revenge Kombat Super Ultimate Alpha Omega F*** Y** Edition! 1. I case an attack breaks both your legs, use your last remaining strength in order to kick the air with one leg, while keeping the other one straight down, then immediatedly yell MYLEGSARBROKEN! In order to receive medical attention. And please remember: If Hadou can, then you Sure can! 2. DLC ONLY 3 DLC ONLY 4. DLC Only. ...hayball rolls trough... 9001: DLC only

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knock knock ? Who's there ? idunnop idunnop who ? Eww you've done a what?!

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A man buys a kitten from the store. He gets home, takes it out of its cage, and realizes that it wasn't the kitten he wanted. He then returns to the store and exchanges for the kitten he originally wanted, but then decides to keep both because he is feeling particularly hungry.

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No really, try this: You: Say "knock, knock" Your friend: OK, knock knock You: Who's there? Your friend: ...... [this awkward pause makes evident the fact that it has now dawned on your friend that he has to generate content for a joke that he wasn't telling in the first place]

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When is a door not a door? Never, a door is an inanimate object and is thus incapable of transforming.

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why do gingers have no friends? They are non sentient stems that are simply not capable of interacting with intellectual humans

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Yo mama's so fat because her BMI is considered obese on the scale.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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