What do you call a Mexican jumping fences? A really good athlete.

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A 65 year old man is tired with his life. He begins to realize that it is meaningless to him. He wants no part in the world anymore so he decided to commit suicide. On his way to commit suicide, he comes across a magical man that has an extraordinary offer. This magical man has offered to grant the 65 year old man the power to fly. The 65 year old man, accepts the offer in great interest, but the magical man wants something in return for his deed. The 65 year old man, offers all the money in his wallet to the magical man. The magical man accepts his offer of all the money and continues. With a flick of the wrist, the magical man says, "fly, fly, high as the sky, i grant this man the ability to fly". The 65 year old man is greatly excited now that he has the ability to fly. He cant wait to try out his new power. He runs to the nearest cliff and jumps. Too bad the "magical man" was really a male prostitute that was broke and homeless. The 65 year old man died on impact and the male prostitue walked away with a wallet full of cash.

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what did one farmer say to the other farmer we are farmers

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A: How do you make a fire with two sticks? B: Ask your mother, we did it last night.

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Why did the dog cross the road? He was on a walk with his owner so they used a crosswalk to safely get back home.

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What did the Dyslexic man write on his Christmas card? Merry Christmas

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Baman: What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? Piderman: What? Baman: They're all gone!

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There's an American, an African, and a Chinese walking down the street. Because the bar is down there.

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What's black, and hangs from trees in my backyard? Blackberries

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Women's rights.

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How do you get a black guy out of a tree? Just call the fire department, they're trained for that kind of stuff

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Whats worse than a dead baby at the bottom of a trash can? Two dead babies. Whats worse then that 5 dead babies and worse then that? Im starting to have suspicions of you being a mass murdurer of small children.

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Knock knock. Who's ther? Your friend Billy i've been shot and need help

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if you are what you eat then you're a hamburger

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Why did the girl pee her pants? She was only 1 month old...

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What will you be doing right before you die? ... ... living.

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A straight black man walks into a gay bar.

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Why does a black man break into a car? Because he had closed the windows and locked his keys inside.

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An insane individual walks into a bank and asks for $500. The teller refuses since he doesn't have an account, so the individual pulls out a gun and asks the teller again. The teller presses the silent panic button, causing the cops to show up and arrest the gunman, but not before he manages to shoot the teller and the small child standing next two counters over.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it's a chicken and it doesn't know any better. It probably doesn't know where it is much less where it's going.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead.

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Sarah Palin

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What do you get when you cross a blonde with Nickelodon? You get Dora because she is allways telling you what to do.

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There is an Asian, an American, and a Mexican on a falling plane. The pilot announces that the plane is plummeting out of the sky and says that he needs to drop the cargo. The pilot drops the cargo but the plane is too heavy still. The pilot tells the passengers to drop some personal belongings. The Asian drops rice, the Mexican drops his guns, and the American throws the Mexican and yells "Remember the Alamo!".

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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