What do you call thousands of people starving all across the globe? Not my problem.

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How do you kill a blonde woman? Stab her in the stomach so all the acidic contents of her stomach slowly burn her flesh.

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I hate girls that try to act hard. Like calm down you dont got a dick.

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Why did the man murder his wife in cold blood? Because she was alive before he killed her.

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How's a raven like a writing desk. you really are alice.

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Q:How many mexicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A:Just Juan.

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What kind of party doesn't have cake? The Nazi Party.

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What makes women so mystifying and beautiful? Tits.

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im gay because im gay

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An irishman walks out of a pub

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guess how...chicken pow! guess who...chicken poo! guess when...chicken pen! guess where...chicken hair! guess what...your adopted.

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I like my woman like I like my coffee. Ground up and in the freezer.

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Why did girl cry? Because she recently saw the messy demise of her parent's marriage.

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A man walks into a bar. He says, "Ow, that really hurt."

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms.

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Your mother is so fat the she is clinically obese.

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What to you do when a monkey walks into your bar? Quietly escort it out and into the nearest zoo.

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What did George W. Bush say to his wife when he got home? I'm home.

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How do you kill a blonde? A gun, knife, there are a number of ways really...

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Isn't it funny that we think it's totally normal for females to not have penises but for literally EVERY OTHER group of people, it's weird and not ok double standard?

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what does a blue watermelon and a cactus that looks like a penis have in common? orange ya glad i didn't say banana!

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Hey i just met you & this is crazy but Nia and Goober Made a baby

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What do you call a deaf man? It would be unwise to call him anything, as he would have difficulty hearing you.

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Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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