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What's worse than a terrible joke? A worse joke.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a carpet? I don't sell carpets.

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What's worse than a dead baby in a trash can A hundred dead babies in a trash can Whats worse than a hundred dead babies in a trash can A live one at the bottom Whats worse than that It eats it way out Whats worse than that It brings friends

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? None,it eats plants.

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Bannana man do do do do do ect.

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Hey you wanna hear a joke? Sure! Well first, do you want part of my sandwich? No thanks.........Are you going to tell your joke? Joke? Um sure. I didn't know I was telling one. Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have Alzheimer's. Would you like part of my sandwich?

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A boy says he is going to commit suicide. To stop him, a friend tells him not to do it, he'll regret it later in life.

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A duck walks into a bar.... Duck: Can I have a glass of water? Bartender: How would you like to pay for it? Duck: Put it on my bill

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Q: What do you call a girl who wears a tuxedo to prom? A: Comfortable with the way she looks.

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What's worse than bad words? People who say them

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Hitler wasn't that bad... He DID kill Hitler.

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How does a black chick tell if she's pregnant? When she pulls the tampon out, all the cotton is already picked.

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KONY 2012! *world rises up cheering in spontaneous patriotism for Africa* Leader of KONY 2012 arrested for public masturbation

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how do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poker face

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Knock, knock Who's there? I'm there.

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What did james say on his bitrhday? There was no birthday because he was aborted but he said ''crunch'' anyway

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Is maynaise an instrument?

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Why was the blonde in the library? Because she was committed to her studies and was getting ready for a test.

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Bruce Forsith's energy and charisma.

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I have a knock knock joke. You go first.

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I thoroughly dislike arabs, I lost both my parents in the events of 9/11.

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roses are red violets are blue I'm ADHD oh look, a squirrel

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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