Why did Jimmy miss a question on his test? He put D

How did the lawyer survive the airplane crash? He didn't.

Why did the racecar driver lose his driver's license? He crashed into an orphanage.

Why is there no gambling in Africa? Because there's no money in Africa.

What is the difference between Chuck Norris and a frog one wears pants and the Chuck Norris doesn't.

Why did Suzy fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Suzy.

A:Knock knock B:Who´s there? A:Beat B:Beat who? A:Beat your ass if you don´t open that door!!

What's black, white, and red all over A penguin in a blender

my hand is a DOLPHIN!

Q: What kind of bees make milk? A: None. Bees make honey, not milk.

Q: What do you do when you see a man with no arms and no legs walking down the street? A: You wonder how the hell he is walking

whats the one about not giving a crap? oh yea this one

Why did the cat land on it's back.... because its dead .......

What do you call mexicans running down the hallway? JAIL BREAK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What do you call an asian woman with one leg? By her name.

At the time my grandfather came round to visit, what was happening in Australia? A giant spider was giving birth.

Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar.... Homosexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual pandas just have piece? Man 1: Were the hell did you come from? Homosexual Panda: My mother's uterus same as you, retard.

How do you piss off a teacher? Accuse them of being a pedophile

billy has 100 candy bars he eats 78 of them what does he have now diabetes

I have aids

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

What did the Fish say to the other Fish? Nothing, fish cant talk.

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse answers, "Because I'm an alcoholic."

When is a door not a door? When your burns down.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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