whats the difference between a pizza and a jew? Pizza is not human, Jewish people are.

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Why is it so bad that the bus fell off the cliff? All my friends were on it.

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Why was six afraid of seven? because seven had diarrhea

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A drunk walks out of a bar gets in his car and proceeds to drive home the driver passed out at the wheel swerved in the wrong lane and smashed the car of the Jefferson family a young family of 4, the Jefferson family's car exploded into flames while the drunk sat back laughed and rubbed the wound on his head

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What do you get when you cross chocolate pudding with your mother's slippers? A spanking.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why did the man's motorcycle not move when the street light turned green? Because it was a filing cabinet.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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SCENES WHEN TOM O'SHEA GETS STABBED IN PRISON AFTER STEALING THE WHEELS OFF AN AMBULANCE

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How do you know a thief has been using your computer? It's missing.

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Little Justin's bike has a flat tire has a flat tire. He asks his dad to inflate it. "Sure Justin I can fix that for you." Said his father. But he overinflates the tire, causing the tire to explode and ignite the chemicals. The house burns to the ground, killing Justin and his parents. The fire then spreads and the hole city burns. 50,000 people die.

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Why did the little pig squeal? Because he was going through blades at a slaughter house.

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Why do penguins wash their clothes in tide? They don't. As artic-dwelling birds, they don't have access TV or magazines and as such, are impervious to influences via commercials and written advertisements. Also, obvious tuxedo jokes aside, they don't really wear clothes.

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Why does Frank hate Jim? He killed his son.

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I can't hear music. I am a sentence.

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What would Michael Jackson do if he were in a room full of kids? Nothing, he's dead.

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I have a dig bick . . . . . You have a dirty mind.

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no

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when life givs you lemons, make lesbian porn

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Q:What is your maturity on a scale of 1 to 100? A:69

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A rabbit crosses a road... To be continued

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Why did my mom smell bad. Because she is a corpse and has been dead for some days now

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Q. How do you punish Helen Keller? A. Rearrange the furniture in her room

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A Mexican and a black man are in a car. Who's driving? The black man, because he was the designated driver for the night and was being helped by his good friend, Paco the Mexican, to quit his alcohol addiction. The AA meetings and rehab clininc were failing and he had lost his job. Jamaal, the black man, is now attending night school and holding down a part-time job at his local Baha Fresh. paco is very proud of him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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