porcupines love sun bathing in the winter months so it dosent rape their nose hairs

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Roses are red Violets are blue Last night I came home to find my entire family murdered....

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the other day i saw a mouse run across my floor. i said "okay" and proceeded with my life

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A woman walks into a sex sop, she buys a dildo.

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A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

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What is the oppisite of water? Dry!

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What is the main similarity of Darth Vader and Michael Jackson? They are both dead fathers.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Ostrich. Ostrich who? No no I don't have a formal name, I'm just telling you I'm an ostrich.

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What's big, wet and hairy? Not what you think it is.

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Why can't humans fly? Because there is simply no natural way of achieving lift with the bodies that we have. We must use other means to become airborne such as planes and hot air balloons.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Hoo. Who Hoo? You're a barn owl!

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Whats better than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown suit

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To see if he could beat the oncoming car.

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you know somebody is lying when it IS opposite day.

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Have you ever seen that clown at walmart that hides from gay people?

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Two astronauts go kayaking in the Sahara Desert. How many pancakes does it take to shingle doghouse? Purple, because ice cream has no bones.

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There was a mexican man and a chinese man, They walked into a bomb shop and bought three bombs, then left.

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Husband: Shut up, there is now playing for Real Madrid Woman: So what? come help me clean. Husband:after the game,now shut up. Woman:Everyone knows Barcelona better... Police: So you're saying your wife fell on the knife alone?

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What has wings but is often on the ground? An aircraft that has frequent take-off problems.

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Why don't white people do the right thing? Because we suck

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What do you call a man covered in magnets? Attractive

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What did the midget say to the clown that was blocking the doorway? Excuse me

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How many people can you fit in an oven? A: I Don't know ask a holocaust survivor.

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If life gives you lemons, give them back. They were probably stolen, and even if they weren't, lemons are a pretty shitty gift to give someone.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops