Roses are red My binoculars are blue The curtains are open I see you

thumb_up thumb_down +27

whats purple with fur?nothing mammals cannot have purple fur

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What's green and fluffy? Red fluff, if you're color blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

If you wanna hear a joke scroll down this page more

thumb_up thumb_down +11

I have no soul so I must consume yours

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why was the cancer patient in the hospital? Her mother threw a rock at her head.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Knock knock Who's there? Yolanda I do not know anyone by that name. I am sorry Oh I must be at the wrong house. My apologies. Oh, it's alright. Have a nice day You too. Take care!

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did a blind man buy a violin. To learn how to play a violin.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Why was the Nazi killed? for crimes against Humanity

thumb_up thumb_down -51

What do you get when you put a dog in a cage. Cantaloupes

thumb_up thumb_down -179

How many eco-friendly people does it take to change a lightbulb? Nobody knows because fluorescent lightbulbs last 6 to 12 years longer than an incandescent lightbulb.

thumb_up thumb_down +96

What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into another apple and finding another worm.

thumb_up thumb_down +80

Whats white, black, and red all over? A half eaten penguin

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Q : What did Piers tell his friend before leaving ? A : Bye.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A horse walks into a bar why the long face? I have aids

thumb_up thumb_down +16

whats worse than Brussels sprouts brussels sprouts that has petite vegetation, lack of sun causing mold and placed in a septic tank.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

I asked a Jewish girl for her number. she rolled up her sleeve.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Whats 1+1? Well,According to John Willemain's Business Analysis: Problem Solving Using Calculus and Finite Mathematics it's 2.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did humpty dumpty fall off the wall? Because he was pushed.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why'd the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

why did jimmy fall of the swing? He had no arms or legs!

thumb_up thumb_down -44

How do u know someones running? They leave this????behind

thumb_up thumb_down -46

Why was Tom flunking in school? He had a learning disability.

thumb_up thumb_down -92

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops