What's the difference between a taxidermist and an astronomer ? They have a different job.

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Person 1: Hey Person 2: What's up? Person 1: Kill Yoself Person 2: Alright

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A child is watching Saturday cartoons when is father walks in and, the child is aware that the father was on an all night binge and is verbally abused

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An Amish man walks into a bar. He then orders a non-alcoholic beverage due to the temperance practices of the Amish faith.

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Why was the bus driver sad? The kid with the icecream had c4 strapped to his chest.

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Why do black people have the whitest teeth? Because they brush regularly.

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What do a Penguin, and your best friend have in common? They'll both die if you shoot them in the head.

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What do you call a praying mantis at your door step? a Jehovah Witness

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a gay guy walks into a bar what does he do? buys a drink after a hard day at work

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How do you make a clown cry? Kill his family

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A black man, an Asian man, and an American man are in a car. Who is driving? The black man, it's his car.

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What do you do when you see a black man limping in your yard? You invite him inside, ask him what happened, and possibly call an ambulance if, God forbid, the situation is that serious.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farm he was from was near a road. There was a hole in the fence and the chicken got out. He then started wandering and happened to cross the road.

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Why did Helen Keller become blind and deaf? Because you touch yourself at night

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Paul walker: Breaks, stop Breaks: no

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How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb? One. This task does not require over 1 person to complete.

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Why didn't the oven turn on? Because nothing turned it on.

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why didn't the chicken cross the road. Because it was hit by a truck.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? One of them you crack open with a sledgehammer and feast upon, and the other is a dead baby.

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A momma cow was grazing in the meadow with her three calves when the first one asked, "Mom, how did I get the name Rose? "Well when you were born, a rose pedal came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The second calf asked, "How did I get the name Daisy?" "Well when you were born, a daisy came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The third calf mumbled, "LKJLSKJFSLKJLKSJDF" incoherently, and the Mom responded, "Shut up, Cinderblock."

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Q: What's the difference between sheetrock and drywall? A: nothing. It's just two names for the same thing.

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Why couldn't the mexican get a job? He was seven.

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a man walks into a bar the bar tender says why the long face? i just walked into a bar

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops