Why did the chicken cross the road? It can never be certain, as chickens are incapable of communicating.

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Yo mamas so fat We are all concerned for her health

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Why did the gecko cross the road.... Because he saw great deals on car insurance!!!

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What did my wife say when I asked her to pick up some milk on her way home from work? OK

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, it was kind of by chance that it crossed the road and what is the big deal lots of animals cross the road. For example possums, squirrels, deer, raccoons, cats, dogs, rabbits do pretty often too it's weird because sometimes more rabbits cross the road on Easter I don't know if that's just me though, chipmunks, bears, over in Africa probably tigers and lions cross those roads.

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What happened to the man who sat outside in the sun too long? He died of skin cancer.

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How do you talk to a mentally challenged person? You use words in a sequential order that would make sense grammatically

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what do abortion and a coat hanger have in common? they both contain 4 vowels

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Q:John has 50 candy bars and he eats 45, what does john have? A: Diabetes

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What was the pirate movie rated? Pg-13

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She has no arms.

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How can you spot a blind person at a nudist colony? They might be carrying a white stick, or have a guide dog or someone to help them navigate the premises.

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Erica is so sexy i want to hump her

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A man walks into a bar, he has a terrible drinking problem and he is ruining his family.

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Why did the dog cross the road? He saw a fish.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a load of bread.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was feeling suicidal due to an existential crisis.

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A blonde and a brunette are stuck on a desert island, they later died of starvation.

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What's neon green and has 69 legs? Nothing that I know of, but it would be an interesting creature

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Little Johnny was always bullied at school. Everyday he would get picked on by the same kid, Todd. Todd was a red-headed bully with no discipline. Johnny one day went home and started crying. His father asked the little boy, "Jonny why are you crying?" John replied, "I keep getting bullied". His father stood up and told him, "You must become a big man and step up to him and tell him how you feel. It will surprise him and he will then back off. It always works." Johnny then felt inspired. Later that night he started practicing what he will say in the mirror. By the next morning he felt like he was ready. Johnny was confident about himself for once. He walked up to Todd and told him, "I'm tired of your bullying and next time you will regret it!!". Todd looked surprised and had his jaw opened. Todd then said, "I'm sorry Johnny I didn't know you felt that way." Johnny looked confused. "Here come with me and I'll buy us ice cream". When they went to go get ice cream, Todd brutally stabbed Johnny until he was losing blood and repeatedly raped his dead body.

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What is worse than the holocaust? World War III.

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Is the capitol of Michigan pronounced DEE-troit or de-TROIT? It's pronounced Lansing.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Three moose were in the middle of the road. They were then shot by a maniac hunter.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops