What do you call a politician on fire? A tragic death for the American public..

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What did one prisoner on death row say to the other? Can you please clean off the seat when you're done? I'd like to die in my own urine.

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Whats worse than finding a bad anti-joke on this website? Dieing of Genital Warts

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You know whats retarted? people with down syndrome.

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what did the black man say to the white man? hi

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What happened the the blonde that went swimming? She cooled off and enjoyed a hot summer day.

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When Kylie and Conner have a baby he will have a centimeter Schmeter!

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why did the chicken cross the road? well he usually takes the bus to his job but he missed it so he had to walk. Unrelated to this, he works at KFC

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knock knock who's there? a murderer. a murderer who? a murderer who kills you and your family.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey Everything is grey I am a dog

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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Roses are brown, Violets are brown, who shat in my garden

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Who has killed more people than Jeffrey Dahmer, John Wayne Gacy, and Jack Kevorkian combined? Mr. Rogers

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Why did the cow have a pain in his stomach. It has testicular cancer.

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Bill: Whats 2 + 2? Joe: Your mom

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Why did the man stand on one foot? Because he had one leg.

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Q. What do you call a small hen that can't lay eggs properly? A. A small hen that can't lay eggs properly.

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A man is approached by a mysterious character in the streets, offering to tell him a dark and amazing tale. The man declines and walks away.

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ecks! why zee?

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A Jew and a German walk in a bar. they've accepted their peoples past and learned to move on with their lives

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The answer: He is dead! (read it throughout so you cant go wrong) Question: So why cant a man in Italia marry his widows sister? Moral: Had yet to read one like this one...

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Why doesn't Gary like me? Because I killed his family and fed them to him.

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Woman Rights

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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