Your mom is so old so will die soon.

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Roses are red Roses are pink Roses are yellow Roses are white Stop stereotyping roses, already.

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How do you kill a blond? Well there are many ways the most effiont way is to shoot them

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oh hiya come in

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four people walk into a maze with a billion dollars in the middle.the people are santa clause, the easter bunny, a smart mexican, and a dumb mexican. Who gets the money. oviously the dumb mexican gets it. why you ask. because the other three are not real.

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An Octopus walks into a bar and sees that there are multiple people with instruments. The man with the Guitar says "I bet you cant play the Guitar better than Led Zeplin?" So the Octopus plays and he is better than Led Zeplin. Then the man with the Piano says "I bet you can't play the piano better than Elton John?" So the Octopus Plays it better than Elton John. The Last man from Scotland says " i bet you can't plat the bagpipes better than me?" So... The Octopus is playing around with the Bagpipes and they say to him "Hurry Up!" and the Octopus says "Shut up, I'm trying to have sex with it but first I need to get it's pajamas off" (Bagpipes have 8 long things you blow into and they have a pattern that looks like a pajama pattern) hahaha

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roses are red voilets are blue my dog stinks and so do you!

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once upon a time, a bird fell in love with a fish.. they both died.

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What do you call an 8 foot anxious priest painted purple named harold? Harold.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. False. Violets are violet

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A man and two women walk into the a house. When they leave out come 2 babies with them. What happened in that house? They were babysitting.

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whats worse than a dead baby? A pile of dead babies and their grieving mothers standing over them. thats what.

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what happened to the black guy after he turned off the light? he probably wanted to save energy, so he moved to a different room with natural sunlight as a light resource.

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Why did the runner stop farting in the middle of his run? He ran out of gas.

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What's the same between a plane a bird and a piece of celery? They all fly except the celery

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How many cows does it take to put in a lightbulb? Well, you see, it depends how many cows it takes to put in a lightbulb.

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What do a black person and a monkey have in common? A. They both are organism that need food and water to survive.

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My mom told me to shut up because I was screaming as I was strangled.

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1+1 =? Too

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Why did the man go to the barber? To get a haircut

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Why did the lizard cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

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...NO.

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Yeah its just my way of saying that I appreciate you worrying so much about me, you are a sweet girl, Honestly I do not understand why the hell you guys are using Horsehead AntiJoke out of all places, there are far more terrible forgettable sites available, I mean this sites connection suddenly went from disgustingly terrible to fine and dandy, the Feds, the Interpol and even fucking Al Qaeda might be reading every single message, but there is no way in hell anyone can decipher the code format, if they could, they would have done it when I invented it sixteen years ago, Myself mind you, nothing subtle about me today apparently.

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Why did Jimmy go to the doctor? He had just been hit by a semi truck and his legs were severed. He died later that night.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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