Two kids walked into a bar. One jumped over it

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Why can't Helen Keller Drive? Because she's dead.

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knock knock whos there? the police, your under arrest

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KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? all my friends break the door down...oh alright then ill answer i guess WHO IS IT? THE REAPER oh s*** dude! [panic face] NO ONES HOME? "In other news tonight, 2 local men found murdered in their living rooms, after looking up common joke style called antee joke. Police say the door was smashed in an obvious sign of forced entry. They seem to have just mysteriously had sudden heart attacks and fainted. heh heh...hey nancy....why did the chicken cross the road? [=< heh heh" "y" "because he thouroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic" "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA *GASP!* X.x dead face "NANCY! NANCY!.....well in other OTHER news ive just murdered nancy, and thats no joke." *runs*

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why did the truck crash into a tree? cause staplers dont know how to drive

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Why couldn't the blonde drive? Because she was 14, thus incapable of having a drivers license

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what's more funny then being raped? not being a minority!

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GOOD AFTERNOON KIND SIR OR MADAM THIS IS THE KUNDALINI EXPRESS MAY I TAKE YOUR ORDER

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because, the Farmer had treated the Chicken and the rest of his family with great distaste, thus angering the Chicken to the point of rebellion against the Farmer with hopes of inspiring the other abused farm animals to act likewise.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car.

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What is the difference between a mustache, and a pile of dead babies? Mustaches disgust me.

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Why are you reading this? You should be taking a shower, you smell like crap.

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Why is Ian a virgin? Because he watches cartoon porn

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Why didn't the black man feed his family? They'd eaten about an hour ago.

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A kraut walks out of a synagogue with no one dead

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SCHNARRRRRR!!!!!

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You're momma's so fat, Oh wait. She's not.

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Why couldn't the little pirate see the movie? His dad had just died in a freak accident on the boat. He was going to the funeral that day. Life as a pirate isn't at all as it seems. Little Jimmy the pirate, had nothing. He had no family. His mother dead already, his sister and brother refusing to speak to him because he ran off to be a pirate with his father. Clearly, he had no idea what he was getting into, because his father was gone. What was he to do now? He had no one to go to. The ship mates were all either completly insane or never sober. That very night, Jimmy took the pistol off the ship captian and shot himself point blank in the head. Little Jimmy is in a better place now. With his mother and father. In a place where he cant be harmed any more. I miss you Jim <3. ~ Jack Sullivan

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Being a demigod and slaying monsters isn't normal, but on myth it is. MYTH: Not even once.

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Anti jokes gives me cold sores

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Roses are red Violets are blue In Soviet Russia They had communism

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How do you make time fly? You throw a clock off a building

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Why'd Sally fall of the swing She had no arms Knock knock Who's there Not sally

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Do you want to hear the best joke ever? Me too!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops