I told a woman to make me a turkey sandwich. Of course she complied since I was at Subway.

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Why do I know Vin Diesel is gay? Because I sucked his dick

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What did the finger say to the thumb? Nothing, fingers can't talk.

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Two goldfish are sat in a tank, one says to the other 'I forgot who you are' to which the other replies 'I forgot what you said'.

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There are two gingerbread men in an oven and the one says " it's hot in here" the other says "holy crap it's a talking cookie!!!!!!!!"

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Yo mama's so fat that when she was diagnosed with a flesh eating disease she was given 10 years to live.

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Yo' momma's so fat, she has an increased risk of cardiovascula disease and may die.

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And now, A cow pretending to be a man: Jeff: Alan, are you a cow? Alan: What?! No! Cow: Yah me neither you guys want to go skatebords? *Awkward*

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? Two worms in your apple.

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Why was the boy sad? Because he wasn't happy!

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Why couldn't Simon run? Because he had Cerebral Palsy.

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Penis

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How do you stop a fire breathing dragon from breathing fire? Shove a hose down its throat.

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That didn't hurt.

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Hey, Texas! Knock knock Texas: Who's there? Ebola

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A boy asks his teacher to go to the bathroom, she says ok but only if he can sya the alphabet. He says ok, but for some reason skips the letter P. How come? -Because he has a sever learning disability and is having a hard time remebering all the letters of the alphabet

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What's the difference between a catholic priest and acne? Acne waits until the boys hit puberty before coming on their face.

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What's the difference between your dog and your mother? Your dog doesn't think you're a disgrace to the family

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No. Ask me if I'm a bush. Are you a bush? No.

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

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Q: What do you get when you mix a joke with a rhetorical question?

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What did Hitler say to his men before they got in the tanks? Get in the tanks

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What does an Irishman order at the bar?? A beer

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what did the train say to the other train choo chooo

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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