How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen snort? Enough to kill 3 and a half men.

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Roses are red Violets are blue What was I saying? Oh yeah, your adopted.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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your mama so dumb her iq point is below average

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D is for diabetes, Cookie Monster, if you keep this up.

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What do you get when you cross corn with more corn? A devestating force that will make you live on a rowboat and perform demeaning puppet shows you will not Even enyoy!!!!

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Ha

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Why did the man float in the lake? Because he had more fat than average, so he was very buoyant

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Why doesn't Michael Jackson sleep with boys anymore? -Because he is dead.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Seven was a registered sex offender.

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Knock knock Whose there? Interrupting doctor Interr-- You have cancer.

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What is black and white and red all over the news paper of someone with tuberculosis

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Your mother is so stupid she never finished College thus having to work many menial jobs to provide for her family.

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Yo mama is so fat, she had to get liposuction.

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What do you call a orange striped zebra? No not a tiger stupid its a orange striped zebra duh!

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Knock knock What

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Osama Bin Laden and a monk walk into a bar. Mistaken Identity. It was the Dalai Lama, Osama is dead.

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Why? Because!

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Why was the baby crying? Because a tree fell on its legs.

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What did the homeless man get for christmas? NOTHING, he died.

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How many Amish people does it take to change a light bulb? None because they don't believe in technology.

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what is a big jar and has a human in it? A human in a jar.

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Where does piglet look for Pooh? The hundred acre forest, you creep.

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whats the difference between a jew and a boyscout? A boyscout comes home from camp.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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