Why was the puppy sad? It was burning alive

where do you get virgin wool from? ugly sheep.

"Up to 50% off."

How do you get a baby in a blender? Feet first so you can see the expression on it's face. How do you get it out ? Nacho chips!

How do you make a fat kid cry? You hold an onion up to their face.

What happens when you throw a green rock into the Red Sea? It gets wet.

Kah-________-

That moment when you touch your balls then sniff your fingers and realize it smells good.

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing, he's Jewish.

Early yesterday around 10:23am a local women by the name of Bethany Francis Polluch died from a injury to the head. At the scene investigators discovered a tree fell on her causing the trauma. Believe it or not the tree was in the kitchen.

Why couldn't the duck get his driver's license? Well, it was a duck and as far as we're concerned they don't have thumbs or arms and are therefore incapable of driving.

Grandma got ran over by a reindeer. She died.

Whats worse than scraping your elbow and knee? Beheading and disembowlment.

Why is Alex Mann Fat? Because he doesnt eat healthy food.

How do you know if it's to late to turn your homework in? When the time allotted is up.

what do u call a gay bird a gaybird

-When is a door not a door? -Never

.""-. |a a \ \ / | '-') ; _/ /_ .'/ ; '. / / |'. \ | | '._\ | | | | | \ \_ _.// jgs '._`""`_.' `""`

whats wrong with 4 blackmen in a jaguar falling over a cliff?? That was my car...

I used to be an adventurer like you. Then i took an arrow to the knee.

Why doesn't Bella like airplanes? Because her family crashed in one....

tänk om jag inte vill läga upp en ny

Q: Your arms are tied and bleeding from your face, a bull is charging at you, a catapult launches a bunch of rottweilers with rabies straight at your face, a nuclear bomb right next to you is five seconds from exploding, and my teleportation device ia right next to you, what do you do? A: You start by getting your own damn teleportation device! The hell ill let you bleed on mine!

Why did the chicken cross the road? No particular reason. It probably wasn't even aware the the ground it was crossing is what's termed as a road.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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