What do you call a helicopter above Hawaii? A helicopter.

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So a disabled man walks into a bar...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

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What do you call your fist? Trying to talk to an appendage would indicate that you suffer from mental issues stemming from dysentery or lack of oxygen, and as a medical professional, I would recommend seeing a specialist.

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A man is kidnapped shortly after being diagnosed with a new type of cancer in his left hand and is also left handed. When he is dropped off after being kidnapped it turns out a doctor hired the kidnappers to bring him a patient. The doctor notices the tumor is still in a stage where it hasn't spread to the rest of his body. The docter then claims to have a way to remove his cancer with minimal damage to the rest of him. So the doctor pulls out a laser sword and cuts off the man's left hand and says,"There, no more vancer for you!"

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Whats worse than 10 dead babies In a tub 10 and 1/2

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What happens when you play a country song backwards? Gibberish.

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Why wasn't the child swimming? It drowned

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Yo momma is so average, she has to maintain her own facebook account...

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Want to hear a joke about my penis? Nevermind it's too long.

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the jokes are repetitive on this site

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Whats worse than getting knocked up? Finding out your Mother is a drugy living on the side of the road and your Dad is an acholic who diesnt care about you and realizes you might turn out the same way.

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How do you put 100 babys in a bucket? A blender

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Her lips aren't proportionally fit to her face

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Do you know whats not funny black jokes that arent racist. You belendo!!!

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What happened to truck full of watermelons careening down the hill? After panicking, the driver was able to gain composure, and shifting the truck into a lower gear, was able to deliver the track safely to the side of the road at the bottom of the ill, where he sat down alongside of the road under the shade of an apple tree, sucking on delicious watermelon.

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Poop

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What did the hooker get for christmas? Herpes

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women

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are not very intelligent and was scared by a shadow. The chicken's survival instincts caused it to cross the road, away from the shadow. The chicken crossed the road safely, and is now happily pecking at worms.

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Why is Alan in the hospital? Because he got cancer.

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Wanna hear a joke about a germ? Sorry I don't want to spread it! -LEts Go Mets!

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How do you get a baby in a blender? Feet first so you can see the expression on it's face. How do you get it out ? Nacho chips!

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When the clock strikes the bell at elephantasourous during my erectionn i screw myself CC

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops