Two small boys are walking in a schoolyard. One of the boys sits down under a tree looking distraught. The other asks him "Well whats the matter Eddy?" "Every time I walk to my bus-stop in the morning, Jimmy Krugan, pushes me down and takes my money. " The first boy thinks for sec.. "Well here's what you do Ed; go to your Dad's shed and grab a 2X4, paint it bright blue. In the morning, walk to school with it under your jacket and when Jimmy starts in on you give him a good wallop. He wont be bothering you anymore." The following day the boys are in the yard again. Eddy is seen under the tree seeming just as distraught. Confused, the boy asks him.. "Well Ed, did you do what I told you?" "No."

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ur mother

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2 guys walk into a bar. You'd hink one of them should have seen it. After all, it is a large building.

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Why did the little girl fail her test? She had mental retardation.

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A man is walking on a beach when he finds a golden lamp. He rubs it and a genie comes out. The genie tells the man he will grant three wishes. The man wastes his wishes on material goods that do not bring him happiness.

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So what happened after 911?? What do you think?

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side why didnt the chicken cross back? for the first time in his life, Clucky the chicken, felt liberated. his cruel life flashed before his eyes, forcing him to remember all the bad tines he had spent on the McKinley farm. all the eggs stolen from him, watching all his friends being taken for slaughter. it all came back. from the other side of the road, Clucky saw a place he never wanted to go back to, a place he wanted to forget. the day he chose not to cross back was the first real day in Clucky's life.

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Q:What time is it when you have to go to the dentist? A: It varies. But most dental offices are open for service between 8am and 4pm

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Yo mama so poor... that she possesses substantially less money than the average person working hard in order to accumulate money today.

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Haikus are easy They are simpler than you think Just don't run out of...

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Roses are red, Violet are blue. I just thought I'd let you know, But don't worry- this isn't a poem.

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What do you call a banana that's about to be eaten? A Banana

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Why was Bill Clinton such a good president? He went to ifreeclub.com

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There are four worms moving in a straight line, one in front of the other. The first worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me!" The second worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" How can this be? ...the fourth worm lied.

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Why do women where make-up and perfume? because they are ugly and they smell bad.

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A black guy and a Mexican jump off a bridge. Who dies first? Nobody cares.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She was shot Knock knock Who's there? Sally Aren't you dead? Oh yeah K Well imma go be dead now Have fun K

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“Anything that moves ey?” – William Deane

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How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Wanna go for a bike ride??

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Your Mama is so poor. I begin to worry about you and your familys' finacial situation.

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What's white and black and red all over? Slaughtered Cows.

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I'm on the seafood diet. A large proportion of my daily food intake is fish.

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A man walks into a doctor's office. He is diagnosed with cancer. After three years he dies.

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Why did man push another man off of a building? Because he is a homocidal maniac and should be in federal prison

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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